I think that’s a great idea! Also, not sure if your in-laws follow the Korean tradition, but as long as their’s good food and the doljanchi (AKA “dol”), I’m sure they would love it, too!

We are planning a no-gift party, too. How will you word your invitations? Do report back and tell us how it goes!

I don’t have any kids, so take this as you will… but at that age, I don’t think she will really be missing out on any sort of experience if she doesn’t open gifts (who can even remember their 1st birthday). At that age, birthday gifts seem more of an experience for the giver. But I agree with you- if you don’t have the space for more toys or just don’t think your child needs more toys then by all means say no gifts please. If people really want to give a gift they can gift her with something like a savongs bond (do people still do that?! I hope so).

I think it’s a great idea- if she doesn’t need anything there’s really no use in spending more money on things you don’t need. She won’t remember! I always said my parents should have saved their money and bought me a car when I got old enough instead of those plastic toys I forgot about a year later

I think most people would understand your desire to minimize “stuff.” Birthdays and holidays and weddings should really be about celebrating with people rather than with stuff. (Though I still get the random relative who insists on gifting pajamas or hat/scarf every Christmas.) And although I am constantly trying to limit the “stuff” I own, I do have a soft spot for books, especially children’s literature. So when I eventually have a kid and birthday parties, I might suggest that guests who really want to bring a physical present bring one favorite children’s book (any age). Any duplicates can be donated, and the books can be enjoyed for years to come. (“A book is a present you can open again and again.”)

It’s too bad that you can no longer gift paper savings bonds. I got several as a baby and young child from various relatives and it was so neat to be able to take them to a bank and cash them in as a teenager. Neither here nor there, really.
What about asking people to bring a gift for a local charity? Here we have House of Ruth, which takes in women and children who have been victims of domestic violence. They are always in need of blankets, toys, women’s clothing, etc. Then people get to shop, bring something in hand for the party and you don’t have clutter? Just a thought.

A no gift birthday party is a great idea, although I’m sure some will still bring gifts. People my feel a little guilty coming to a party empty handed. Huge gift filled parties for a 1 year old are more for the adults in to room anyway. I’m sure she will have a lovely time with or without gifts. I see a lot of book suggestions. Maybe the guests can bring books and the books can be donated to an under funded school. I’ve donated books to a school before and the children were very appreciative. I received lots of thank you letters from them too 🙂

We had a “no gifts please” party for the twins first birthday and asked people to donate to the March of Dimes. We were walking to support raising awareness for premature births a few weeks after their party so it all tied in nicely.

I love this idea. When I think of how many baby and toddler gifts I have given that go unused or just sit in a corner I would much rather give to charity or contribute to a future college fund 🙂

I love the idea of contributing to the book library but I want to take that one step further. A really cool idea would be to request iTunes gift cards and song request lists from friends for Ruby. You could then use the gift cards to download the songs that people love and want to share with Ruby and create Ruby’s music library/play list. It’s amazing what songs people love and remember from childhood. You can save the song request lists for her baby book and look back when she gets older and see who’s contributions to her first playlist helped shape her taste in music. You could even take movie requests and build her a movie library in iTunes to watch on the iPad/Apple TV for years to come without having to purchase a single DVD.

My baby’s about two weeks younger than yours, and this has been on my mind too. I’ve seen all the junk that kids can get at their first birthdays, and it just seems so unnecessary, and the kids don’t really get it yet anyway. But I see two big issues: 1: how to word the invitation, as mentioning presents at all seems a bit wrong, and 2: people will feel awkward coming without anything, I know I would. I kind of like the donation idea, as long as the guests know that their gifts will most likely be donated. I like the book idea too, you can never have too many books. I am not sure if I would make a donation to a charity in lieu of a gift, that seems a little awkward, and doesn’t seem to have much to do with the baby being celebrated. I am trying to think of other things that people could bring instead, to help celebrate the baby, without adding all that clutter, but haven’t come up with anything yet.

Happy Almost Birthday! I’m a new reader, and I love your blog! My son is going to be 2 in Jan, and I’m already thinking about his party. For his 1st I did do gifts and I also had a charity option (his birthday was at the Houston Zoo, and people could donate to Give a Gift of Grub for the animals). Mainly I kept present options in because of the big celebration / memories of the day. It was a lot of fun opening presents with him after the party (although to be honest at 19 months his fav toys are still our tupperware and balls).
I could have easily probably left this out because us (parents) and Grandparents would have still given gifts.
For his second, we aren’t doing gifts (just family gifts). I’m going to figure out a charity people can donate too. I am thinking donate children’s books since his theme is Where the Wild Things Are!
I would LOVE if more Bday parties were charity and not gifts!
Any plans to come to Houston for your book tour?
-Tara
http://madmaxandfamily.blogspot.com
http://blog.chron.com/madabouttown/

I’m with the book idea! My SIL just threw me a baby shower and instructed people to bring a book instead of a card. It was AWESOME, and now I have a ton of books!

happy early birthday to little ruby! (: I support the no-gift party! (: only because I just threw a party for my little boy who turned one last month and he has an older brother with lots of new and second hand toys, books, clothes, you name it, we have it. because it’s traditional, we tell guests no gifts but they come bearing with red packets instead. which is always favoured more than vouchers (due for the fact that we always forget to spend them until a month before they expire! :x)

We were faced with this very dilemma a few weeks ago when we were party planning as my daughter turned one this week. {We also live in a small apartment with no storage space.} We hosted a small party and asked that our family and friends not bring gifts. While some of our friends complied (one couple who know us well brought food for everyone to enjoy – Hawaiian poke! :), and some thoughtfully brought gifts for mom and dad for surviving the first year, but many actually did bring gifts for our daughter. In retrospect, we should have asked directly that they donate to a charity, bring one or two small books, or perhaps even a dessert to share {dessert bar, anyone?}, rather than going the “no gifts” route. Good luck, Joy! I hope you figure out something that works best for you and your family…

i think having your guests donate to charity is an awesome idea! i wanted to do that for my wedding last year! this will help more people become more aware of donating to charity and they will most likely do it again! hope things go well!

i feel like this a really common topic these days. no gift parties are becoming more and more popular and the toys can end of being totally overkill. my only issue is… i recently went to a “no gifts please” party and respected the parents’ wishes by not bringing one. once i got there, severalll people still brought gifts. it made me feel bad and like a lame friend. so, that’s just my experience! ha. good luck!

I love giving gifts to all my friends kiddos as much as I love getting them. I think I’d be that person who brought one anyhow. 🙂

We had a no-gifts 1st birthday party and told our invitees that it was not only a celebration of Hazel’s first year of life but also a “thank you” party to all of our friends and family who greatly supported us throughout the whole year. Our daughter didn’t miss the gifts at all and everyone had a great time just playing and enjoying ourselves.
We considered a charity donation, but it didn’t seem appropriate to me. I understand that for a wedding, but I didn’t feel the need to ask our close friends and family to give anything…they’ve all done more than enough. Have fun! It’s been so fun to watch Ruby grow up this year. Thanks for sharing a little bit of her (and you) with us.

Happy birthday to Ruby! We just had my daughter’s first birthday party 2 weeks ago. We told guests not to bring gifts, but they could make a donation in her name to IMA World Health’s “Safe Motherhood Kit” program for women giving birth in developing countries. A few donated to the charity, but most people still brought gifts. Some did both. Her little daycare friends could not imagine going to a birthday party and not bringing the guest of honor a fun present, and the women in my family could not imagine passing up making or buying adorable toddler clothes. So no one really took our “no gifts” suggestion seriously, but I think it’s nice to have a charity option rather than telling people no gifts at all.
In the reverse role, if I were the guest, I would donate to the charity and probably get a small trinket like headband or a bottle of bubbles along with a card saying I donated.

Such a great idea. It really becomes overwhelming with weddings, baby showers, birthdays, bachelorette parties, engagement parties, bridal showers– I mean REALLY!?
Just discovered your blog, LOVE it!

I agree on the idea of book as gifts for the party. If everyone writes in the book as the card it remains a beautiful and sentimental gift for a life time. Now that my daughter is 3 any book we read that has an inscription, I always have to read it and she loves hearing them (over and over and over again!).

I think the no gift idea is a great one. At 1 year old kids hardly understand gifts. Donating to a charity would be great. Or you could just do a book theme and have everyone present books. They won’t occupy much space and will be a great source of reading!!

I love the idea of people bringing a gift that you can then donate to charity. Maybe a specific type of gift (like books) that you can then donate. Maybe even make it a tradition – a gift each year (once Ruby wants to keep some presents) 🙂

It’s a great idea! or you could state in the invitation card that any gift brought to Ruby will toward supporting such n such charity.

I would definitely donate to a charity in lieu of a physical gift. For our wedding my husband and I had a relatively small traditional registry and then listed several charities that we would love for our guests to donate to (and we were incredibly happy that many of our family and friends chose to do so). If people really feel uncomfortable about showing up without bringing anything, maybe they could contribute some food and/or drinks that everyone could enjoy!

We are having a no gift party – basically for the same reasons you listed. We live in a small house, our son has plenty of toys, we don’t think he will really grasp the idea of gifts, and we don’t want our friends and family (especially those without kids) to feel obligated to buy a gift. We considered asking for gifts to give to a children’s charity, but decided we can just do that on our own. We know that certain family members and close friends want to buy him presents and of course we will kindly accept them 🙂

I LOVE the idea of a no gift party!! We have 4 little ones 6 and under and 3 of their birthdays fall within a month of each other and we just find ourselves buried in stuff we don’t have room for after parties! and about 75% if it is not stuff we need or want so we’ve taken to donating it to an inner city charity for kids. We’re thinking of just asking guests to bring a children’s book they love if they want to bring gifts to future parties 🙂

I see from the photo that Ruby has the same Rainforest Bouncer as my little one 🙂
I was invited to a few no-gifts birthday parties lately and the invitations simply stated “no gifts, please” and “no presents, just your presence.” I do agree that some people will still bring gifts. Honestly, I’m one of those people…I just love choosing or especially making a gift for a little one. At my son’s 1st birthday party, most of the guests were family and they brought small, practical gifts like books and clothes (they know we have limited space in our condo).
Either way, it will be a wonderful, exciting memorable day. And you will no doubt, go completely overboard designing everything. I know I spent many hours designing and assembling my son’s invites and party decor when I should have been working 😉 Enjoy the day!

We did a no gift birthday party for our daughter’s first and second birthdays. Same reasons you listed – too much stuff, not enough space, and this child does not want for anything! I just said, “No gifts please! Only your company and your enjoyment requested.” Some people still brought something but it was little – a small book or something like that. But otherwise they heeded the request.

My baby isn’t even out in the world yet and I’m already trying to tell family and friends (as tactfully as possible) to please please please not buy gifts. I live overseas but will head home to have the baby and I’m terrified at the thought of either trying to haul all that stuff back overseas with me, or offending someone by leaving a gift in storage that we might never get to enjoy before the baby outgrows it. So I think a no-gifts party is a great idea, but considering the number of gifts I’ve already received (two pairs of toddler-sized pink snow pants? I don’t even know if I’m having a girl!) it really makes me think more about our culture of gift-giving.

A no-gift party is a great idea. We have tried, with no success, to have a no-gift birthday party for our daughter for the past eight years. Our parents and close friends found it impossible to follow our request.
We did have success with a no-gift party (sort of) when she began having a separate party for friends. Since her birthday is Oct 25, we requested guests bring an unwrapped gift, for a boy or a girl of any age. The gifts would then be donated to Toys for Tots a few weeks later.
The first time we did this, when she was 5 years old, was a little rough, but now it’s no big deal. She has come to fully understand the concept of giving back.

I think your idea is great! I’d donate if you made it easy for me, to be honest. There are websites where people donate easily right through paypal right there for someone’s cause (usually small amounts of money are needed to reach the person’s goal). I can’t remember the name of the site though. But, if you find it and send everyone the exact link for donation then you’ll get more results that way and really change someone’s life in honor of Ruby’s special day.

Me again – another idea that might work for Ruby and be a bit of fun – a ‘bring a blossom’ party – each guest brings a single flower to be assembled into a piece of floral art at the party.

sweet idea! we actually did this for Christmas once. People obliged, but of course, people still wanted to give us tangible gifts, too. no harm in having a little of both, yeah?

In my culture, it´s rude to come to a party (or even someone´s home!) empty handed, so if you´re having a party, you could ask people to bring a dish instead of a gift and explain that Ruby doesn´t need toys or clothes. Of course this depends on the size of the party you´re planning on throwing too. You can´t have fifty people bring cupcakes!

What about everyone brings a favorite book too add to her little girl library? hen she gets to open something, but it doesn’t take up loads of space and you’ll get lots of use from them 🙂

You can always ask guests to bring a favorite kid’s book to donate to a local battered women and children’s home. There are several here in Los Angeles, like the Alexandria House. I’m sure they could use them.

I think kids can never use enough books. If you get repeats or books you don’t care for you can just donate them!

A gift is as much about the giver as it is about the recipient, some of your relatives and close friends may be sad to lose the opportunity to present a gift to your child on a milestone birthday such as a first birthday. A book party might be a good solution? Even at the youngest ages children love to be read to. I remember every book that my children have ever enjoyed. We have sent bags and bags of toys to charity over time but we have kept every book, I even have some of my nannas books from her childhood and she passed away five years ago.

For my first few birthdays/christmases I got presents from my parents, but everybody else was encouraged to buy mutual funds instead of other gifts. By the time they matured I was a teen wanting to buy a car/thinking about college.

I had a friend that did no gifts and instead asked guests to bring a book to donate to a child in need. Sadly, most of the guest did not comply and brought a gift anyway.

good luck with the party!!!
http://www.mamajulesbrussels.blogspot.com

You can request no gifts, but that doesn’t mean that people will actually do it. The grandparents probably will not abide by this request. One time we were invited to a no-gift party for my son’s friend and we showed up, having followed the suggestion, with no gift. And we were the ONLY people who didn’t bring a gift. It was kind of embarrassing, even though we followed the request!
Could you maybe suggest that you’re having a theme party of some kind, like, for example, a book party to stock the baby’s library?

I know a teenage girl who recently had a birthday. For her party, she asked her friends to bring toilet paper for a local shelter. I was so proud of her!

Toys at birthday parties can be overwhelming, and with two girls – I’ve donated a lot of them already just to make space – and that’s in a four bedroom home. I have seen people do donations to a college/savings fund for the child and only book parties – which I LOVE.

As a clutter-phobe as well (and since little ones are oblivious to the concept of gifts), I’m completely on board with the less stuff mentality.
Perhaps ask if guests want to bring a gift, to bring a small contribution towards Ruby’s college years. My grandparents did that for me on my birthday by purchasing US Treasury Bonds. Although I felt a little gypped as I reached 7+, I was VERY grateful when I cashed them in my freshman year of college to put towards my tuition.
It’s a perfect, non-clutter way to help give something priceless to a child. And, the parents!

This is such an interesting question in these modern times and how blessed are we to even think about graciously turning away people’s gifts? So many of us are attempting to simplify, limit and dare I say, control? the things that come in to our homes, especially where child items are concerned. I’ve heard very .. honest … people say they don’t want presents because they didn’t want to deal with the inevitable plastic, character-branded, noisy, clutter-filled results. A totally understandable impulse, but …
In my personal experience, I thought very seriously about making our first birthday party a “no-gifts” affair but I changed my mind and I’m glad I did. I was surprised at how absolutely touched I was by the things we received! So many toys and books I wouldn’t have known about/thought to give my daughter turned out to be her favorites and as she got older, we spent a lot of time talking about the “origin stories” of her treasured possessions … who gave it to her, which birthday.
Giving and receiving gifts can be one of life’s great pleasures and I think it’s something all children should learn. One is bit young, of course 🙂 but I just wanted to offer another perspective.

Thanks Kate! Great ideas and I love the lesson about sharing!
Joy

I have a coworker who did the same thing for her child and instead of physical gifts, she family and friends were able to purchase credits toward her child’s swim lessons, which was the gift they wanted to give their child the most. If there’s some activity you’d love for Ruby to do, this idea is kind of the best of both worlds; you give your friends and family happy by making it possible for them to give a gift and your family benefits from giving Ruby what she really enjoys.

yeah, do it!
it’s one of the best things to do. a friend of mine did it and she still ended up with lots of presents. we did the “optional” route and ended up with more cash gifts than presents – in the end, we donated toys and cash to charity.

I think it’s a great idea but I’m biased. I did this last year for my son’s 7th birthday. We did “no gifts or donate to Kiva.” Kiva turned out to be a nice thing for parents to do with their kids, helping a stranger out instead of choosing a generic toy at Target that we might already have.

Hi Joy!
Even though it is for a wonderful cause, I personally would feel awkward telling people HOW to spend their money (like “donate here”…even though I know, I know…it’s charitable).
However I also feel you on the space dilemma….and people do love to give gifts…not even so much for the benefit of the receiver, but because it feels good to give and some people are just givers by nature and want to see the joy on the recipient’s face.
You might want to try wording the invitation “Your fellowship is the only gift we need! But if you still have the urge to give, we’d love for you to donate to ______” Or even a simple “gifts optional”. 🙂
Happy (almost) 1st birthday to your little gem, Ruby.

I’m not sure if this idea has been mentioned, but I copied my sister in law for my son’s fifth birthday party and asked on the invitation for everyone to bring a small gift in the $5 range that any 4-6 year old would like. As the guests came in I put a numbered sticker on the gifts and then at present time they all picked a number from the bowl and found the corresponding gift. We counted 1-2-3! and then everyone opened a gift at the same time. They all loved it and everyone got to go home with something fun as well as have the chance to give a gift. Plus, it saved the parents some money. The gifts were the small kind of things that children usually beg for at the store, so they were all thrilled with the fun little gifts. I have four young children and this is definitely going to be a new tradition for every birthday party.

Yes! Agreed. I’m one of those who don’t like to show up without a gift in hand. Books are always useful and appreciated… and inexpensive for everyone! A nice treat!

Happy Ruby’s birthday!So cute baby,love your blog!

I would so much rather donate to a charity then bring a toy or whatever to a young child’s party. I think that’s a great idea. We’ve gotten some really cute gifts with a lot of meaning, but that’s not what’s important at all – and you’re right when they’re young they don’t know. I say enjoy the party with friends and family and donate to a favorite cause close to your hearts.

Just like Brianna, Victoria, Amber, and many other commenters mentioned, I think that asking guests to contribute to a college fund is a great idea! You should take a look at CollegeBacker. Its platform allows you to easily invite friends and family to contribute to your child’s 529 college savings plan. If you don’t have one, CollegeBacker’s simple interface makes it really easy to sign up.