Last year I wrote a post about that juggle that we all have to do with work/life/family/everything else, and how I try to instill some semblance of balance in my life. A year later, I still believe in all those things I talked about, but boy…is this hard or what?
I'll be honest, guys, I'm exhausted. My life—both work and personal—has changed so much in the past year, and the juggle has gotten much harder. I've since taken on a staff (salaries to pay), a studio space (another rent to pay), a bunch of large projects coming out (which means I place more expectations on myself), and I have a toddler who needs and wants more from me in ways that I love, but also make me feel more torn.
We have part-time child-care so I'm basically a part-time stay-at-home mom with a full-time business. And that math doesn't really work out, so it ends up that I'm working around the clock, in the evenings when Ruby is in bed, on weekends during naps, and and pretty much anytime she's asleep. Bob and I rarely get to hang out by ourselves just doing nothing, except for when we have date night outs, and then I usually come home afterward and work some more. It's a constant juggle and shifting of priorities. I take Ruby to gymnastics class, to the playground, and to play dates, while checking in with my team at the office, designing projects, planning and concepting our next photo or video shoot, and responding to emails. Sometimes my head just feels like it might explode. I feel guilty that I have to leave work to get home to Ruby, I feel guilty when a project doesn't turn out 100% like I wanted it to because I couldn't stay longer and make it better, I feel guilty when I start an argument with Bob because I'm taking my stress out on him, I feel guilty when I make a crappy meal for my family because I was too busy with something else to think about dinner until 20 minutes before it had to be served, I feel guilty when I can't see my friends as often because I want to spend that time with my family.
I just feel guilty all the time.
I find myself envious of my friends who can be full-time stay-at-home moms and who don't have to rush to their computer to work the second their kids are in bed. I also find myself jealous of those who go off to a job where they work 9-5, and then can leave work at work and come home to 100% personal time. I find myself jealous of my friends who don't have kids and wonder what the heck I spent my time doing pre-baby, because I had so much more time that I didn't take advantage of. The grass is always greener, I suppose. I know that I need to work, that I want to work, and that my creative brain thrives off doing so many things. I also know that my daughter will only be little for so long, and I am lucky to get to spend the extra time with her that I do. But that doesn't make it any easier.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I get asked all the time how I do it all, and I just had to say that I don't. I try my best, I ask for help, I choose my battles, I love the people in my life as much as I can—sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail—but mostly, I am still just figuring it out.
UPDATE: Thank you so much to everyone for you kind comments…I was really scared to write this post but happy to see it resonated with so many. I want to let you know that even if I don't get to respond to all of you, I have read each and every comment and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
{Thanks to Sydney for inspiring this post. Top photo by Bob Cho, middle photo by Bonnie Tsang, bottom photo by Rachel Thurston.}
Thank you so much for posting this. Not only does it make me think higher of you for being honest but it makes me realize that we are all fighting our own battles. Sometimes I get so concentrated on myself, I forget about others’ struggles. I think it’s hard for all of us to achieve that goal: the balance you talk about, but it’s so worth it once we’re there.
Nicole
great post — thanks for sharing
Wow! These words… match perfectly with my life right now! It’s really hard to juggle everything…
Hard + REALLY REWARDING!
And we always try our best and that’s the best we can do 🙂
I love that you shine so bright even when the colour of the light might not be rose!! Honestly, I think it’s so important to set boundaries that line up with your values. Even superwoman had time off. Having fun, play, enjoying life is what makes my clock tick and I’m sure yours too! Work hard, Play hard! All the best to you and enjoy the end of the year! And I really appreciated your post! Good job!
Take heart in the fact that in a few years, Ruby will be in school full time and you’ll get those hours back. One day, she’ll appreciate all this hard work and crazy balancing act you’re struggling with. It was all for her. Don’t beat yourself up either. Everyone has to figure all this stuff out. You’re doing a great job, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
such a refreshingly honest reminder that life is so good and so hard and we are all just trying to figure it out. wishing you some peace and rest this holiday season.
Thanks for this. I don’t have much to “juggle,” but can definitely relate to the grass is always greener mentality. As a single 33-year old with a ton of married mom-friends, I sometimes get a bit jealous of them. I appreciate the reminder to value what I have now because there will be a point where being bored or lonely will be something I covet.
Thanks so much for talking about this. I have both a full-time job and then run our blog in my “spare” time (and I have a toddler the same age as Ruby!). The balance is a constant quest, and I think in reality, a myth. Just taking it one day at a time is the best we can do sometimes!
I rarely comment on blog posts even though I love reading blogs (and yours is one of my top 3 favorites) but I have to compliment you on the honesty of this post. You inspire me every morning and create such wonderful pieces of art and design. I am so glad you are doing what you do, including being a great mom. You are a beautiful person, inside and out!
Even as I write this I know how it went in one ear and put the other when I was in your position. However…it won’t last forever. The seasons change. The balancing act shifts to new challenges. And all the while you have days when you scream and days when you begin to think you’ve got it figured out. What’s truly happening is that you begin to be kinder to yourself. You begin to let yourself off the hook a little more. You get tougher and stronger, while getting more gentle with your soul.
Time really does fly with your kids. It just seems never-ending while it’s happening. Self-employed persons have a particularly difficult road (even though it seems glamorous on the outside.) Learn the phrase ‘It’s ok.’ Repeat it like a mantra. I promise that someday…you’ll begin to believe it. 🙂
Warm thoughts to you from a cold Midwest. Shall I start on the envy I have that you have so many warm days in which to run around and play and work and not have to bundle up first?! The grass is always greener, right?!?! :)))
this post was so honest and wonderful. blogs are a tricky balance of showing the good while keeping it real and this was definitely real. thank you for that
thanks for your honesty! sometimes, the grass looks greener on the other side, huh? but i bet ruby thinks you’re the bees knees and the greatest mom out there!
I HEAR YA! I run my own business, work full time and have a toddler. I work from home but like you said its a constant battle to balance everything. I stress over it daily and nightly!!!! So just know you are not alone and if I can ever help just let me know.
Ashley
http://www.mom4life.com
my mother worked alongside my dad when i was growing up. i never felt as if i was neglected. as an adult, all i remember is appreciating her work ethic and dedication to her family. and even though i don’t know you, just judging from the photos and posts you put up, ruby seems like a happy, well adjusted kid. and when she becomes an adult, i’m sure she’ll appreciate and be thankful her parents worked hard, and taught her the value of it. sometimes it’s not the amount of time you spend with someone, but the quality of it.
Your life as a mom, wife and business owner is indeed hard. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if I were you. I see so many of my friends in similar situations as you and just applaud you all! Your job is the hardest job in the world, to juggle everything. You may feel guilty at everything you’re not able to do or think you’re doing a bad job of, but don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing a pretty good job. And I agree, the grass IS always greener.
Joy – you are writing exactly how I feel – and have been feeling for the past 8 yrs or so. I should write a reality post on my blog I think people would be shocked at the state of my reality. 🙂
Thank you. It’s so hard being a mom of little people while trying to be a creative business person. I can never seem to get traction these days, and it is easy to feel like other people seem to have it so much more together than I do. But all of us are fighting hard.
Thank you for sharing. I think sometimes as moms and business owners we put high expectations on ourselves to get it all done and to do it well. Somedays that just doesn’t happen. And that’s okay. We are doing the best we can and that is good enough sometimes. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are doing a great job!
Thank you so much for your honesty. I’m right there with you, the part time mom with a full time job or vice versus is no joke. I wish you luck and hope you can release the guilt ( if you figure out how, please share)!
We all try to be Superwoman at some point in our lives. In reality, we are not. Take your time and slow down. Enjoy life with Ruby and your husband. No one would blame you for saying no to a project or not blogging everyday, when you feel overwhelmed. 🙂
Joy, I know the last things that you probably have time to do it read, but I highly recommend any of brene brown’s books.. In particular “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Daring Greatly.” I’m so thankful for your honesty here. In particular your words about feeling guilty all the time struck me. We should only feel guilty when we truly did something wrong and in reality you are a wonderful mom and amazing at your job.. Guilt should play no part in that! Brene has helped me a lot to accept that I can’t “do it all” nor do I have to strive to “look like I’m doing it all.” We are all perfectly human, and allowing those unrealistic expectations of ourself dominate our lives really just detracts from our joy. No intention of giving to one more thing to work on here.. Just food for thought. You are an amazing lady and you deserve to FEEL that, KNOW that, and not have guilt hanging over your head because of ways you may fall short 🙂
Hi Joy, I’m not sure if I’ve commented before but I read each post and had to today. You’re a rock star for multiple reasons but most of all for your honestly! I think far too many people look at blogs and can’t help but compare their whole life to the small portion they see of the writer’s. This had to be said and I’m so glad you did. Keep on doing your best, it’s all we can do! xo
Thank you for your honesty. Even though we know blogs are just a snapshot of someone’s life, it’s easy to think everything is as simple and easy as it looks in photographs. As a working mom I appreciate you putting voice to the challenges.
Be good to yourself! You bring so much inspiration to the world with all of your talent and zest for living. Sending a big hug back to you for being so honest. Try to give up some of the things that are keeping you from your family time (like maybe only cook once a week, etc)because that is where you’ll feel the most anxiety which makes us all feel like rats on a wheel. You’re a very self aware person, you will figure out the best balance for the moment in time. It always changes, no one system of order will work forever. Wishing you you every blessing.
THANK YOU! I don’t have kids or own a business or even a house, but it’s tough to juggle. For me it’s two jobs, friends, taking care of myself, a presentable and clean apartment, staying in touch with family, writing a blog that’s mostly for myself, eating well, and the list goes on. Thanks for a moment of honesty 🙂
I too read Sydney’s post and have been thinking about this. I recently started a blog myself so hearing this from other established bloggers is helpful.
I’m a full-time working mom who also has part-time child care. However, I’m the person in my family with the 9-5 job and my husband is the one who is a free-lancer so is doing the full-time job while being part-time stay at home dad. It’s hard for him to find time to do his work, and it’s hard for me to find time to spend with him and my daughter. And for me, my 9-5 is actually 6am-3:30pm (my company is on the east coast even though I work on the west coast). And I run a department so I’m often working at night after the little one goes to sleep.
When I was talking to a good friend of mine about feeling guilty for working so much she reminded me that i was doing great and that guilt is just what comes with the territory. So I try to accept it and move on and keep trying to do the best I can. I’m not sure it ever gets easier though.
So honest and real! This post reminds me of something I read, “May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.” As a loyal reader of blogs (especially yours), it’s easy to be envious of the glamourous perks and lives of bloggers without considering all the hard work being done behind the scenes. Thanks for posting such an open and heartfelt experience of yours! Makes your readers really appreciate all the work that goes into your blog. 🙂
You are doing an amazing job Joy! Thank you for sharing this. I have two small children, a part time job and I’m just starting out with my blog. It can be very hard juggling everything, but actually I don’t think I could be me if I didn’t. My dad worked a lot when we were children and now he feels really bad about it – but I don’t remember that at all. What I remember is the amazing fun times we had together playing, visiting places, laughing. I also massively respect him for having a successful business. It inspires me to work for myself and be a success. I want my children to love our special time together and to be inspired by what I’ve achieved. I’m sure Ruby will always remember the happy times and be in awe of your achievements. Oh and my children never complain about fish fingers for tea if I’ve not had time to make anything else. Those are the meals they love best I think!
Thank you so much for posting this Joy! I have a daughter Ruby’s age and definitely feel the strain coming from every direction too. I’m so humbled by your honesty and it’s great to know that I’m not alone in all of this.
xoxo,
Chelsea & The City
Wow, this makes me feel a little better. I see your blog and was a little envious that you seem to have it all together. I have a 1 and 4 year old, a very demanding job and travel a couple of days almost every week. People ask me all the time how I do it all and I say I don’t. Something always suffers. My relationship, my work, my child. I just have to chose which I want to suffer the least at any given time. It’s hard and I feel guilty all the time. I too am envious of people who have 9-5 jobs. Who aren’t always working or thinking about work while trying to be present for kids and a husband. If anyone figures it out, please let me know.
Thank you for posting this! Man, the power of Mommy guilt (and work guilt and wife gilt! ). It is such a challenge to take a step back and appreciate everything, when sometimes it feels like your life is out of your control. So thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone!
thank you so much for this post. i am struggling trying to work full time and take care of my 11 month old baby. there just seems to be no time to get anything done. its so hard. you seem to love what you do, and are quite successful at it, which is such a great thing for ruby to see!
Wow, I can so relate to this post. I’m a full time mom, part time ad agency designer, while trying to also grow my own one woman design studio/blog/brand. It’s exhausting. I completely understand the guilt that comes with doing a million things, you feel like you want to do them all, or maybe you need to do them all, but you’re never quite 100% satisfied because some area that you’re juggling could always use more attention. I don’t have an answer for you, but I think engaging ruby in activities that she loves while you work is huge. I personally feel really guilty when I just have to get something done, and it means sitting my daughter in front of sesame street. Enjoy it as you can, she’ll be in school before you know it and then you’ll have more time to work. My life got slightly less stressful when I decided to put my blog on the back burner. I still love writing it, but it’s not even close to a source of income yet, and I also need to have a life, so I try not to stress when I miss posting. Know that you are not alone!
Joy,
I can relate to this post. As a Stay at home mom (full time) I’ve never been able to start my own business to keep my creative brain going. I also have gotten jealous in the past of women like you who have successful businesses and families (and… money). I am a stay at home mom with my husband teaching full time. Big sacrifices have been made for us to be here.
Only when I realized that I made my choices and I wanted this life did I become happy with it. I’m okay with not doing everything I once thought I would. In your case, you are probably thinking the same thing! Knowing what other women go through is especially helpful in accepting our own lots in life.
God Bless. I love your aesthetic and your drive. – J
this is beautiful, you are beautiful, ruby is beautiful. you are way better than you probably believe, and you are an inspiration to many many many people:)
So timely – I’ve been having similar thoughts lately – it’s a never ending battle to juggle all the balls. I work full-time, business travel several times a year, have an entrepreneurial husband, toddler girl a few months younger than yours, a house to manage, meals to attempt to cook, the list goes on. Some days I feel so accomplished for getting through the to-do list and then other days are not so great. I try to find the silver lining in all the chaos and know that tomorrow is a new day. You seem like an amazing woman – don’t be too hard on yourself!
I’ve been reading your blog daily for probably 5 years or so. This is my favorite post you’ve ever written. I’m also a working mom with a little girl who’s just a few months older than Ruby. I relate so much to everything you say, and I thank you for saying it. I have no right answer, no wise words. I can just say I hear you, I relate, and I appreciate your honesty.
I hear you – running your own business, whether its a blog or not, can definitely be more stressful because you can’t leave your work at work. Hang in there, sister! Hopefully things will slow down a little after the holidays, and you can make more time for you, your husband and your sweet little girl. 🙂
xo kristen genevieve
sunnywithachanceoflemons.blogspot.com
I feel ya lady – I became a teacher because I loved kids, but also so I could have lots of time off to spend with my own children. But during the summers I occasionally feel guilty about wishing I could go to work to get away for a little while 🙂 It’s just one of those things I guess. You are doing great – that you care, and worry about it, I think is all the difference.
So happy you shared this, Joy! Not that the “how do I do it all” predicament is in anyway exclusive to bloggers or creatives, but I’m finding the juggle is constantly harder and harder for me, too. I’m exhausted far more often than I like to admit and I often feel like I’m just doing everything I can on one day to get to the next day without missing a deadline or letting something slip through the cracks. Also, I often feel that that people who do work a more traditional 9-5 job don’t really get just how much work it is to run a business and it makes me feel guilty when I can’t give as much of myself socially to the relationships I treasure in my life. I just don’t have the time. I’m working really hard at learning to be comfortable saying no or taking a rain check (whether it be personally or professionally) without feeling like I have to make amends or issue apologies. I can’t apologize for having to work. It’s a work in progress over here, too. 🙂
Have faith that you are showing your daughter how to be an amazing woman and human being! Try not to feel guilty because that separation is necessary and good! I feel the same way going to work (ICU RN) and often repeat those words aloud 🙂 “We are amazing and kicks ass and are showing our daughters how to do the same!”
Thank you for this great post! I guess as women we all feel like we are not doing enough. Thank you for letting us see how difficult you also have it for juggling everything in life. You’re an inspiration to me!
These kinds of posts are SO important – too often, blogs portray everything in life as perfect and shiny and just so, and those of us looking in from the outside forget that you are real people with real lives that come with problems just like ours. 🙂 It makes me hopeful that a beautiful life is possible even with all the challenges. Thanks so much!
Boy do I understand every word of this…not to the same level business wise, but still. It’s SO tough. I work from home, no help, with twins. I feel the same you do…lucky to have this time but also need work to sustain my creative brain. I am envious of many…but am trying to stay focused on how very lucky I am…WE are. We get to do what we love and be moms…THE BEST.
JOY!!!! I seriously just read this and have tears in my eyes. I feels as if every single word you wrote came straight out of my mouth. Along with my business partner, we work a few days a week officially and are home with our kids the other days. It’s a constant feeling of guilt and I constantly feel like I’m not being 100% at, well, anything! I know it will all be worth it and it’s only these years when kids are so young before they are in school full time that will be this kind of crazy juggle, but man, this is just HARD! Thanks for sharing!!! I’m in it with you 🙂
This is something I struggle with all of the time and I never feel like I’m accomplishing enough in a day. But, I guess we are blessed to feel so passionate about so much in our lives. You continue to be an inspiration to me.
Ugh, I am right there with you, sister. You did a better job explaining how I feel about my life with a nearly two year old than I ever have been able to. Balancing Confetti Pop, a new party goods product line I’m working on, and my daughter without feeling guilty about something is impossible, and in constantly irritated at myself for feeling like I’m underperforming at something. My boss wisely told me before I had her: “you can either be a perfect parent, or a personal professional; the sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.” I probably should’ve listened to him sooner, because I’m still struggling to choose. It’s easier to say that, I guess, than to do it.
Thank you for this honest post. It is one of your best. So many blogs are embroiled in blatant consumerism – purchases to be made and freebies received – that I found myself getting caught up in that maelstrom. And after hearing what David Simon said about the two Americas, I thought about swearing off blogs in the new year. If I keep reading posts like this and Sydney’s, I might have to put off my resolution for a while.
Wow, thank you for that! So honest and so refreshing.
Of all the mama blogger posts out there re: the juggle, this one is my favourite. Mainly because you didn’t end on a super, sappy note about how Ruby’s smile melts all your stress away, you kept it real from beginning to end and it actually feels genuine. And while you could have chosen a 9-5 job and had it easier, there are so many people out there who are envious of this fabulous career you’ve created, while following your passion and talent! You are inspiring.
I’m a new reader but wow this post spoke to me since I’m a full-time working mom with a 12-month old daughter with a husband who travels for work. I didn’t expect all the mommy guilt when I became a parent, but it seems like its inevitable, and its nice to hear it from others too.
Whenever my non-mom friends ask me about having kids, I tell them the sleepless nights don’t last that long, everything is a phase, and in a few years it’s smooth sailing. Then I tell them that the one thing nobody warned me about was that, as a full time working mom, I would feel guilty ALL. THE. TIME. I feel guilty while I’m driving to work, while I’m at work, when I get home from work and I throw together a half-assed dinner because I’m tired, when I rush through bath and bed time because it’s already late and even though I want to spend time with her, I know that she will be happier if she is well-rested. I feel guilty if my husband and I decide to go to a movie because I am gone 13 hours a day during the week, so obviously my weekends should be 100% devoted to family time. I feel guilty if I go out to dinner with my girlfriends because my husband is left to do bath and bed time and I am not there to say goodnight. I always wonder if I would feel less guilty if I only worked away from home part-time, but from your post it sounds like we will just all always feel guilty no matter what.
I know the feeling. I don’t have kids but I have one full-time job, another that is almost full-time, and up until fairly recently I was caring for an elderly parent and a cat with one bad kidney. It was crazy. Every time I felt like a failure and that nothing was ever going to get done I kept reminding myself “Just finish what you’re doing and move on to the next thing. Just do what you can.” Was everything perfect? Nope. Did things get done? Mostly. We try to be kind to others but we often forget to be kind to ourselves as well. Cut yourself some slack. You’re doing the best you can.
I’ve never commented on your blog before, but this post prompted me to do so. I am a FT designer who is mom to a 3yo boy, and I just wanted to say that the height of my overwhelmed and overworked feelings was right around when my son was Ruby’s age. Just as age 1-2 is the time of language explosion, age 2-3 is the time of independence. As commenters before me have stated–it does get better (and soon!).
The other thing I’ll add is that my son started at a daycare (after previously being in a nanny sharecare) right before he turned 2 and he ADORED it. My original plan was to have him go 4 days a week but he liked it so much I actually felt selfish keeping him at home with me on that 5th day. It took me a while to let go of my FT working mom guilt but knowing that they were giving him so much more than I could provide for him (socialization, language immersion, a community of kids and adults that he loved) really helped. I’m not saying this is the right decision for everyone, but I hadn’t realized how much of my mom guilt was tied to thinking that *I* was the one who could provide the best care for him (like you, I carted my son around to classes and the zoo and museums and…). Once I found a place that could provide something *more* than what I could for him, I was able to let go of those expectations of what a “good” mom should and shouldn’t do.
Good luck with juggle and thank you for keeping it real. 🙂
I also work crazy (yet flexible) hours and am a mom to a 2 year old. What really changed my life is when I bit the bullet and enrolled her in daycare. I felt so incredibly guilty leading up to it but it turns out that she LOVES it…wayyyyy more than when she was with her nanny (who was incredible). My plan was for her to go from 9 to 3, but every time I picked her up at 3, she was upset because it was snacktime, followed by playground time. So now I pick her up at 4 and have enough energy to give her my undivided attention. I still feel guilty about a lot of things but the peace of mind I have about her thriving in daycare is priceless.
Thank you for this. I’m returning to work after my 2nd baby girl right now (my oldest is 5 mo older than Ruby) and I needed this. I’m devastated not so much about working, but about returning to the imbalance, exhaustion, and guilt.
THANK YOU!! It is nice to see my frequent feelings so eloquently stated.
Thank you for the honesty! So refreshing and a huge part of why this is one of my favorite blogs!!
great post & helpful read for me today…thank you
so well put. I always say that I as an inefficient human before I had children. Unbelievable-that I did not do more and get more done. In the end we do the best we can and sometimes we fall short! I do love your honesty because often times from the outside others’ lives seem perfect and effortless! Keep up the amazing work…in all roles you fill. xoxo
Thank you for posting this! You are amazing and both your work product and family are beautiful!
I have the same struggles. My work-work is never done (I’m a professor) and home is constantly demanding (2 little boys). The one thing I read that helped was a book called “Momma Zen.” She helped me see that I’m never going to get it right all of the time. I can’t compare myself as a parent to the stay-at-home moms I know. And, good enough is just that. Yes, I still experience stress but it is so much better now than before.
Thank you so much for posting this!! You described how I feel better than I probably could have!! I will probably read this many times in the future for encouragement!! Thank you!!
Thank you for this. This my life – full time job, two kids under 3. Guilt, guilt, guilt.
thanks for this post! there is no perfect world, we all give up things and make sacrifices, but knowing we’re in it together as mamas makes me feel a whole lot better. keep on keeping on, mama!
http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2013/12/chick-magnet.html
Honey…I know we haven’t “known” each other long and I don’t have kids…or a creative business I run by myself BUT I know guilt and I know stress and I know good souls. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. A friend of mine with a little one posted this recently and it made so much sense. Hang in there and don’t feel bad asking for help! http://jasongood.net/365/2011/06/day-166-to-all-my-friends-without-children/
Thanks for this. We need more honesty when it comes to how tough being a mom is and how crazy life gets. It’s not all sunshine and unicorns as everyone made it out to be when I was pregnant. I love my little guy but it’s hard work and somedays I don’t know how I’ll manage. This post made me see that I’m not the only one who struggles with balancing it all.
I’m sorry you feel this way, Joy, but I can totally relate. I think no matter what we do, mom guilt is always there. I feel guilty because I am trying to work really hard at my blog, but I am a full time stay at home mom, so it’s often at the expense of my kids and sleep. I don’t give me kids the attention they deserve all of the time, and I can totally relate to the 20 minutes before dinner thing! My tagline is actually “making anything and everything…except dinner.” I don’t love to cook as it is, so that area gets really neglected!
Your honesty is much appreciated, and like you, Sydney’s post really resonated with me. I pray that you continue to find some sort of balance – although I don’t think they’re really is one – and that you try to focus on all the amazing things you do for your family, your employees and those of us reading. You’re really inspiring!
Thank you so much for sharing. As I struggle with the balancing act, and all of the public conversation focuses on things that are out-of-step with someone who is actually in the midst of toddlerhood, it is nice to have a refreshing and honest take on how other people are making it work.
Thanks for being honest and real, and for sharing this with us. I think juggling is something we’ll always be doing, no matter what season we are in life. I don’t think it’ll ever stop being hard, but I think we’ll all get better at it with each year. 🙂
Thank you for sharing – there are so many conflicting feelings, aren’t there!?
This is exactly what I needed right now, thank you so much Joy. Finding the balance with a husband deployed and a full time baby – not to mention a MORE than full time job – has been a bit difficult. And I’m faced with the opportunity to leave the full time job and jump into the scary world of freelance soon (more like I’m being pushed into that opportunity) and let me tell you. It’s scary. But exciting, and if it means I get to spend more time with my little boy and my big boy, I’m ready. I just have to convince myself it will all be okay. Anyway, thank you. XO, Mallory
So very true. Thank you for posting. There is no easy road as a mom, business owner, wife, friend, etc. It is truly a never-ending juggling act.
thank you so much for being real! i needed to read this and i am SO right there with you. it’s a hard for sure.
I can’t tell you how much this resonated with me. I have a full time, high stress position doing events for the corporate world, working from home I also run my dream creative company (a young girls footwear brand) trying to build it up so I can quit my corporate job. I have two kids, a husband and friendships I want to nurture across the country. My mom is deceased so I absorbed the role of “family nucleus” keeping my own family together. I always organize my friends (b/c that is what I do) and we entertain more than we should and oh and of course, I have to be homeroom mom and chair my kids school fundraiser so I feel like I am doing something impactful at my kids’ school. But here is the deal……
I make all these decisions to do what I do b/c it fulfills me. What you have created for yourself, Joy, is a successful business, a loving family and a brand you should be proud of. I know you feel guilty but you are the best Mom to Ruby you can be and you will honor your brand and stay committed the best you can. That is all we can do, is try our best. You have a good team to help and a loving supportive husband. Take the time to be grateful, have gratitude and show it to him and your team and this will relieve the guilt. And maybe some projects will have to give a bit, move out, that is ok. You do that because you want to give it your best. Your passion for what you do shows and your clients will know that. And above all, Ruby will see that as she get older, my kids have and it is wonderful. Try your best and work with passion.
Also, Ruby has what she needs. My kids are 9 and 11 now, easier, and I am testament that the guilt I had while they were young did nothing to them. My guilt was my own.
Lastly, take TIME to rest and nurture yourself. Without guilt. Things are not fun when you are so tired, you will lose appreciation! Schedule time with your best friends and have a good fun girls game night where you can dump and laugh!
Hang in there!
Hi Joy! You’re doing a great job, at being a wife, mom, business owner, creative stylistic diva. I enjoy getting to read your blog every day and see what you post about! Remember what you’re thankful for and why you do everything you do (you do so much!), and also that you don’t need to be your friends (you don’t need to “keep up” or do everything that they do, because you’re not them). When you find yourself comparing yourself with others, remind yourself about what’s going well and what you’re thankful for (maybe easier said than done, but worth it to try!). I admire that you are doing your best and trying to juggle/balance, I know that your husband and Ruby are cheering you on and love/care about you so much!
Have a good week!
The best thing about this post is your complete honesty, it is so refreshing. I have to say it does get annoying when you see women with children that work claiming they can do it all, with little stress and guilt. I just don’t believe it’s possible unless you farm everything out and don’t spend much time with your kids. I am a mom of three and have had my own business through it all and yes it’s definitely difficult and honestly the guilt doesn’t completely end, but you do find a balance. Luckily, being self-employed does let you accommodate all the extras like school plays, activities, dr. appts, etc and the constant multi-tasking as an entrepreneur translates into the juggling as a mom. Thanks for posting!
ohmygoodness, i needed to read this today. i saw sydney’s post too this weekend. i have been experiencing a lot of the same feelings you have, and it’s so hard to find others who “get” it. i keep wanting to type more about my own situation, but then i delete it 🙂
in any case, i totally know the feeling, joy! hang in there, and give yourself a break if/when you can. this working mom thing is tough.
i actually thought once, ohmygod why aren’t all moms given MEDALS for what they do…seriously.
Oh my goodness, love, love, love the top photo of you too. I hope that is framed and hanging on a wall. A large reason I started following your blog was bc my situation is very similar. I love my work and don’t know what I would do without it but I also love my daughter so so much and couldn’t imagine this world any different. I’m lucky that my firm allows me to have an adjusted schedule but I still feel like I work all the time. Whether you’re able to make things work every day or not, you’re a fantastic inspiration and I’ve enjoyed learning from you and your family. Keep up the great work in all that you do!!
i hear you. i’m exhausted all the time. and i only have a dog! she gets all the free time i have. on saturday and sundays i take her for a long hike (which thankfully clears my head and is good for me, too) and then i work all weekend. occasionally i go out in the evening for dinner or an event (which often turns into a blog post). this job is 24/7. an email pops up and i feel compelled to answer it right away, otherwise they pile up and if i’m not answering them, i’m thinking about how i should be answering them. i think we could all use some better work/life balance. thanks for sharing this joy. i WAS wondering how you did it all. now, get some rest! xo
Thank you Joy for sharing! We’re raising a one-year-old while I’m working full-time and my husband is working full-time and in a part-time grad program. I always admire your work and I admire you even more for your honesty and resiliency! You are doing an awesome job and every mom needs to let it all out sometimes to feel better. HUG!
I’m loving these posts with so much honesty. Seriously thank you! I couldn’t agree more about the guilt of work and parenting and relationships and balancing all 3 which is pretty much impossible. Thank you for providing a space which inspires but also feels inclusive. I always look forward to checking in here for a little smile in my day.
M.
I totally get that probably feeling. What in the world was I doing and why didn’t I take more advantage of all that me-time! I wouldn’t trade things for the world, but when you’re a parent, the days are not your own.
thank you so much for sharing! and here i was envious of you, on the exterior, seeming like you have it all together. i’m going through the same struggles–freelance design work, caring for 2 young boys, dinner, etc…. no time for myself, barley any time for me and my partner. the guilt, so much guilt! and exhaustion! good luck to you! from what i can tell from following your blog, you’re doing an amazing job!!
oooooh i feel you joy! i work part time and am a full-time mom of a toddler, i commute four hours a day on the days when i work and am always torn between staying at work longer to finish all my work while at work (i’m a teacher – believe me we work our butts off outside the classroom) and hurrying home to be with my son and then stay up way too late prepping lessons and materials for the next day. and once the kiddo is in bed, if i lie down for just a minute to unwind (and i really need that lie-down cause i’m on my feet all day) i fall asleep. at like 8:30pm. my son is about to start preschool in a few days, he’ll be there from 8am to 3pm once he gets adapted to it, and i must say my expectations for the future are ridiculously optimistic. in my mind preschool means more time for work/housework/my husband/myself and less mommy guilt over not spending every waking hour with him (he’ll be having fun and learning and socializing) and over letting him watch more tv than i ever thought i would let him while i take care of housework. btw, i have the most wonderful in-laws who live next door and help me out loads, but i still feel like i’m always in survival mode when it comes to acomplishing everything. so i know exactly how you feel and i admire you for having your own business and not giving it up! you’re doing a great job and thank you for writing so candidly about these things.
This post made me cry because it really hit home. Being a working mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done…I have a 14 month old and am 21 weeks pregnant with #2. I’m working at a very demanding full time job. I’m working on starting my own business in any and all of my free time so that I can soon have more flexible hours to see my kids. I have guilt every day too. And I’m exhausted.
I look forward to your blog everyday…it’s truly a bright spot. And thank you for this post. You’re an inspiration.
Hi Joy,
I’m a long time reader and rarely comment but I really appreciated you being honest in this post. I follow your posts on instagram, your blog etc. and I’m honestly quite envious some times because I would love to be running my own creative business (as opposed to a corporate 9-to-5) but it’s kind of nice to know once you have kids, its tough no matter what really. Way too often our internet lives are shiny and without any cracks or depth, and its misleading.
For me personally, I just need to make the time and effort away from my baby WORTH IT, because right now I’m doing a job I just don’t care for. She’s also only 10mos so I think it will change once she gets older, more vocal etc.
Good luck to you!
Wouldn’t it be nice if we knew people’s stories a little more. We could understand each other a little better and be a little more kind and a little less judgemental. I think this post is great on so many levels and for so many people to read. Me included.
Omg Joy, thank you so much for sharing this. I think it’s the first time I’m leaving a comment on your blog, but it’s just so touching and almost identical to my feelings, I can’t pass by. I want to bookmark it and get back to it every time I feel like I’m the worst mother, wife, friend and cook in the world )
We all just try and do our own personal best.
Thank you for being so honest and sharing this! I’m about to have my first baby and have been thinking about the juggle. I’m working on my new business and am struggling and feeling guilty with dialing things back even for the first few months as I don’t know what effects that will have but at the same time, the early moments are so precious I don’t want to miss them! It’s good to know I’m not alone! Thanks for inspiring me Joy! You’re doing an amazing job! Really! Xx
I feel the exact same way running a small business and being a mom to a 6 y/o boy. I will say that having flexible schedule because you work for yourself is PRICELESS! It makes the struggle worth it. You can decide to leave work early and join in on the class field trip. You can decide to work a bit extra at night to volunteer in your daughter’s classroom. You can decide these things and not have anyone to answer to. This is what I focus on when things get overwhelming. It gets easier as you learn to juggle and your kiddo becomes more independent. You are doing a great job at work and home 🙂 For the one lame dinner you served, I’m sure you served many many wonderful ones!!
Thanks for your honesty. This post made me tear up a little. I am in the same boat running my own business and being a “stay at home mom” (that works 60 hours a week) to a 4 yr old. It’s definitely an exhausting struggle and it’s nice to know others understand! 🙂
Thank you for sharing. Your post was so honest. You and your beautiful family look like u have a TON of fun all the time and I’d never have guessed that you’re feeling this way.
The road is difficult and more so for mothers like you, with your own business. However, I think that if you give something your best shot (nothing less of 100%), you will get maximum joy/happiness out of it. The weariness will be over when your child is older. Years later you will look back and take pride that you have given your all including blood, tears and sweat to nurturing your family.
I work a regular office job and spend all my waking time with my 23m old boy who goes to his nanny during the day. He does sap all the energy out of me and DH especially over the weekends when he’s at home. We try not to depend on my parents to take care of him unless we wanna go out for a lunch date. It’s been about 2 years and well.. I miss pre-baby days terribly. But, I also can’t imagine my days without him.
We are going to Bali tm (travelling for the first time) and I prepared ourselves by reading up on your travelling toddler post way in advance!
Remember to take a chill pill at times and RELAX before going back to the daily grind. Happy hols to you, your family and your team!
I loved this post also- but i have to say- my first take-away wasn’t mom guilt as others have stated- To me it just validated how HARD you have to work to be as successful as you are! I am also a designer with young children, and I have several designer friends with children of the same age who I always felt so jealous of because they seemed so much more productive and accomplished then i was, until i truly learned their “secret” they were working their booties off!!! not sleeping, crazy busy all the time etc. Once I realized i had chosen to be right where I was, i felt much more comfortable about it.
you are AMAZING, Joy! but along with your amazing talent is amazingly hard work! you are doing great!
That’s me too. We had a 20 minute crappy meal today. Most days it’s guilt, thankfulness, guilt, guilt, thankfulness, thankfulness. Winning the lotto would be nice, but then I would have to start playing. Thanks for your words. We’re not alone in this struggle to live, love, and work!
Thanks for sharing this with us! You actually responded to a video question I had a couple months back (on your Blog, Inc. Virtual Chat) in which I asked how to balance work and being a mom (this was when I was 7 months pregnant). Now that my baby is almost turning one I can totally relate with you. I actually blog full-time and run my own business and find myself getting most of my work done when the baby sleeps or late in the evenings (sometimes until 1am). It definitely isn’t easy and I surely feel guilty at times, but I guess I’ve learned to wake up every day and do the best for my son and for my job and accepting that some days I’ll do one job better than the other.
You are an amazing mother! Sometimes we don’t hear that as often as we should. Whenever I feel overwhelmed I just tell myself, God will never give us more than we can handle. I wish you all the best!
xx,
Carmen
I first want to say thanks for sharing your experiences. I’m sure you know now how common your feelings are in the world of motherhood in this day and age. You can only do your best…and sometimes for a mother, it seems as though it’s never good enough. Remember that your child will be happy as long as you are happy. Children are very intuitive that way. So continue to do things that make you happy…and you’ll continue to have a happy child. 🙂
I have such similar thoughts so often. It’s incredibly helpful each time I hear another mom share them. Thank you thank you! (Now back to work)
Thank you for sharing Joy! This is exactly how I have been feeling, especially lately. There is just not enough time, so very much to do, and so many people to see. I try to remember the time I have is precious, and the quality I am able to give my son is what really matters, not always the quantity. I just hope that one day when he looks at me all grown up, he will know I tried my best to do everything I could for him, and appreciate that. 🙂 Good luck! I am glad to know I am not the only one out there that has a hard time with the life juggle!
Thanks so much for sharing this Joy – my husband and I are currently expecting out first bebe, so I’ve just started thinking about how I’m going to “do it all.” I know I can’t, but choosing priorities and and trying to figure out how to balance is no easy feat. Thanks to you and the other trail blazing mamas out there. xo!
Great post and thanks for sharing! I feel like this all the time!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart! You are an amazing mama and Ruby is just so loved and adored. She’s going to look back on so many wonderful childhood memories and also be so proud of all of your accomplishments. No matter the work situation~ being a mama comes with so much guilt. I’m so glad that we have friends (both in real life and online) who can encourage and inspire us to do our best and let go of the guilt. *hug*
Wow. You just described my life in this post. Word for word.
Thanks for keeping it real.
Hi Joy,
Hang in there!
What I am going to suggest might sound crazy to you…as you already have your plate piled high with things to do, but I really hope you will give it a try. YOGA (one class, once a week). Find a beautiful studio space, a teacher you love, respect and can look up to and a mat to call your own. (You might have to experiment with a few teachers until you find the right fit). I know you must be thinking I am crazy, and thinking that I didn’t read your post on how you were already stretched to the max with time. But by giving to others all the time, to your job, to your projects, to Ruby & to Bob without giving to yourself first is a fast recipe for burn out. You need to give yourself the gift of time (to spend by yourself, in your own body, in your own mind, breathing, sweating, releasing, connecting and being inspired). You will feel so much better I promise. Your guilt become less and less, you will have more energy and your mind will feel more clear. Most importantly you will find yourself feeling more present in your own life with the people you care about most.
Namaste Joy! You have been such an inspiration to me, I hope I can bring you a little as well.
Thank you SO much guys for your support and kind words about this post! I was scared to write it but so glad I did 😉
xo,
Joy
I read your blog daily and I always think that you and your beautiful family have it all and are so fortunate. Thank you so much Joy for being so honest and direct. Right about the time I found out I was pregnant with our second baby I became concretely inspired to start a blog and a business. Our beautiful baby girl is now 10 months old and I still can’t manage to find the time to get both projects going full on. I am overwhelmed on a daily basis, staying at home with my 8 year old and our new baby, trying to be present with them but having my heart ache a little because I have so many ideas I would like to take to fruition but no time or energy. I tell myself it will be baby steps in developing my business and remind myself that this precious time when my little one(s) need me so much is fleeting. It sure helps to hear that someone as successful as yourself has similar thoughts of the grass being greener and struggling to make it all work as best as you can. You are truly inspiring Joy.
Thank you for this really thoughtful post, Joy. I am a mum of a toddler, with another on the way in February. I am an illustrator/animator and try to fit in my work around my daughter without any childcare and am really struggling, so I empathise. You’re doing a great job. What a super mummy you are x
So brave of you to post this and to share this with us! Thank you so much! You don’t know how much that means to me right now! 🙂
Thank you and good luck!!!
Hi Joy! I’m a part time stay at home Mom (though it still feels weird to say that!) with a brand new full time creative business, and I find the route you’re taking with your work and family life so inspiring. I’m sure Ruby will find it inspiring, too, when she’s old enough to see the wonderful creative person you are as well as a great Mom to her. It all feels like such a risk to me in these early stages of my new business, but it’s just something I’ve got to give a go, both for the flexibility it allows for time with my little guy and the creative work that I love doing. Seeing the way you juggle it, struggles and all, makes me feel like I’ve got a shot at doing it too! Thanks so much for that.
Hi Joy,
Stop beating yourself up. It seems like you are doing a wonderful job at parenting and working. Setting unrealistic expectations is setting yourself up for disappointment.
Be easier on yourself. No one expects a gourmet meal; your family is just happy to be with you. Order take out and call it a day!
No one is superwoman, no matter how it seems. Slow down and enjoy 🙂
Best,
Amanda from Bensalem (full time professor and full time mom to Jasper, 6 months).
Oh I could have wrote these exact words!! I have an almost 2 year old….same story!!!!
It’s nice to read your post, because I believe that ALL of us (bloggers) feel the same way and are in the same boat. Sometimes it’s helpful to hear another person say it out loud, so we know we’re not alone. Life, kids, home and blog. It’s a lot, but it’s what keeps us going!
Oh, Joy. I really needed to read this. I am pregnant now and I already feel torn. I’m trying to do so much before our first baby arrives and I feel guilty every time I am not reading a baby book or doing something for his arrival. It kills me! And, I know, I’m not even getting started yet as an official mom. I work full time and my blog feels like another full time job because I love blogging. It definitely has taken away from other things, but it is my passion. I have sacrificed a lot. Yesterday, I had so many plans to do baby stuff and plan our shower and I collapsed on the couch! Really? Yup, that’s how tired I was. As soon as I woke up, I felt so bad that I didn’t get all that I wanted done.
I also feel bad not spending more time with Mr. ShuGar. It’s so hard to try to be a full time pro, wife, mom, friend, and blogger. I don’t know how I am going to do it. I can’t imagine it will ever get better. Thank you for your honesty. It really is reassuring I am not the only one going crazy with it all. I also appreciate you breaking the veneer of social media that shows all of us,” Gosh, I wish I had her life because everything looks so perfect.”
Thanks for the sincerity! It’s good to know that we are not the only one struggling with the every day stuff, the baby, the hubby, the house, the work, the friends… It’s good to know that we are not alone. And it’s good to know that you are human too 🙂
This is a beautiful post, Joy. It’s soooo hard to find that mythical balance…and I don’t even have kids. I’m already struggling with finding time for my full-time job (which I have to keep to pay the bills), trying to make my blog all that I want it to be (but original projects and quality posts take time!!!), spending time with friends and family, getting things done around the house, and spending quality time with my husband. Unfortunately, spending time with Ben is often the one that I end up neglecting…which makes me really sad because that’s the one that is most important to me. I’m trying to make that more of a priority, and well, if dinner is lame as a result or if the laundry doesn’t get done…oh well. It’s really good to know that I’m not the only one struggling though. Thanks for this post, and thanks to Sydney too! I read her post yesterday as well. Feeling encouraged by both of you beautiful ladies 🙂
love everything you do! i was shocked when I asked you a question and got a response back! so many of the blogs I read…i never get feedback. so thanks! you’re amazing!
Exactly. Thank you.
I read this post early yesterday morning and didn’t get a chance to comment because Lola had woken up. I teared up when I read it because I know how you feel. Although I am in the process of trying to return back to work outside of the home (I’m so sad about having to leave Lola but it seems best for our family long term), working at home has been both amazingly beautiful and harder than I imagined. When we first made the decision that I would work at home I pictured the house always being clean, dinner being ready when my husband and oldest got home and the baby napping long enough for me to get work done. But that has been far from my reality. Some days I find myself hoping we have no surprise visitors because I look terrible and the house is a mess. I feel like I’m always playing catch up. I get discouraged and am so hard on myself. I feel guilty ever complaining because I am living my dream of being at home with my baby and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. Although it hasn’t been easy having this extra time has been a gift I will forever cherish. I have days where I wish I could be a SAHM mom or that my days were more defined but I do have the things my heart most desires — my family. People often ask me how I do it and I tell them the same thing — I don’t. I’m certainly trying though. If the kitchen is spotless it is likely the laundry is piled high and a blog post is pending…Anyway I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your transparency and I hope through it you have been reminded that you aren’t alone in this. I know your words have touched a lot of fellow jugglers. Hugs to you Joy!
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I have a busy career as an art teacher, a husband who runs his own business, an adorable little two year old, and NO time for myself! I can’t imagine having another child…even though I really want two…unless something changes. I think I will pull back on my career and take a few years off when we have another baby, but if I had an awesome career like yours I would definitely have a hard time with that. I so wish I was blogging!!! Good luck with your balance and I think you are doing an amazing job – you make it look easy. 🙂
Thanks so much for this honest post. We don’t talk openly enough about how torn we feel and how much we struggle to do all of this and enjoy it all, and how it feels almost impossible. It’s easy to create a false picture of a perfect life online, and it is so helpful to hear the tough side of things too. xoxo!
thank you for saying this! it’s so sad that we mommies feel so much guilt all the time, but it is definitely there. my son is 22 months and i work full time. my son is happy, loves his nanny (although we’re switching to daycare soon), and is thriving, but it’s still so hard. thank you thank you thank you! you are amazing and are an inspiration. and ruby is incredible! (PS – Ruby was on our list of girls names if Felix had been a She!)
So beautifully put. So true.
Why do you do it then?
I only ask because I feel the same frustrations. I own/run two businesses (essentially full time) and have done that for the last 9 years or so. I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old who never went to daycare until now. Because running a small business alone is hard, I took on a regular 9-5 full time job this summer and don’t see leaving anytime soon… in addition to still running those businesses, being a mom, wife etc. I feel compelled to do all these things. It’s in my DNA and I think I would be bored if I didn’t have a full plate. But then I ask myself why? Why am I doing this to myself, to my family? I just wonder if you also had asked yourself the question “why” and if you had any good reasons. I could use a few I think.
Thanks for being so honest, Joy. I’m in a similar boat. In fact, I just took on a part-time job so that I could pay for daycare, which I’m hoping will afford me the time to keep freelancing and blogging, but during the day so that when my girls come home, I can just be present with them at night and not constantly saying, “Mommy has one more email. One more email…” I’m hoping it works and doesn’t burn me out further, but I absolutely get the guilt about not being able to give 100% to each thing. We all know you’re doing your best (which is pretty damn good!) and so are we, but it’s always nice to build each other up instead of doing the opposite! And Ruby (is and) will be so proud of you once she understands it all, and you’ll be such a great role model for her when she is faced with these types of decisions. Xx
Thanks for sharing. Your blog (pictures included) looks surreal. You just made your readers feel you are likeus
Couldn’t have related to this more today, Joy. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your struggles. It’s hard to come terms with the fact that it’s impossible to give your all to everything at once, and that you just have to do your best. Keep on keeping on!
Oh my goodness YES! All of this. I got weepy just reading this… Thank you for sharing, I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Honesty counts a lot. You’ll be more appreciated by your readers for making it more real…not the edited version. Thanks for sharing.
WOW Joy…that’s a great post! I think we all can relate to some degree and I’m sure you touched a cord with everyone who reads your blog. Thanks so much for sharing!!
Hot tears fill my eyes as I right this comment… Thanks so much for this honest and genuine post. Been having some rough days lately too. It’s totally a breath of fresh air to hear such truthful and heartfelt words from another Mama ( I am a mom of new baby and toddler that lives to create/also in Ad Production) that’s also in the midst of figuring it all out the best she can.
I thank you from the bottom of heart for sharing your life when you do. I am a HUGE fan and admire what you do. I admire that you not only are you a Mama, wife, friend, a creator of beautiful things but you are you and stay true to what you love to do… ~ Create !!! ~ Truly inspiring.
This lady is something that Ruby will take and learn and make the world beautiful because you have chosen to take the time to juggle it all, show and share with her what you have been blessed with… a beautiful and creative heart.
Keep it up Mama! Please don’t forget… Your best is actually pretty awesome!
Love from Vancouver, Canada.
This actually made me cry. I can relate 100% xx
Thank you for sharing your story and struggles Joy! I don’t have a baby, but I do have a creative business which feels almost like having a baby – at times it is super overwhelming so I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have a toddler on top of running a biz. To me, it looks like you are doing a fantastic job and that your family is full of love – at the end of that day, that is more important than anything else.
thanks for sharing, seriously. we are always (always) hardest on ourselves. knowing it is hard for everyone makes it a little more bearable.
THANK YOU!!!! Your honesty just is so spot on. I work full time out of the house – have two little ones 2 and 3.5 years old – i took a new job over a year ago that was supposed to be good but ended up being too rigid of a work environment – i’m again on the hunt for a new job with more flexibility as my life at home (kids, husband) have all been too strained. My kids are in daycare 1/2 days – my husband (who has a flexible work schedule) is the one who picks them up and has them the rest of the day until i get home- although he loves it he’s officially wiped out as am I almost all of the time. It’s been the most challenging year for us as a couple but we’re making it through – keeping positive – trying to figure out what works for our family and well, making changes to see if anything helps. It’s a process…. It’s nice to know that there are other women out there dealing with the same thing. Thank you so much for sharing Joy!
AMEN!!! Thank you SO MUCH for posting this. I have experienced 99% of what you’re talking about over the past 20 months with my son. It’s just nice to hear that I’m not the only one making mac and cheese for my kid some nights or getting into fights with my husband because of stress from working and trying to raise a family. You’re not alone 🙂
i’ve loved this blog for years and years, but this might be my favorite post. it’s fun to see all of the cute ideas and perfection, but it’s easy to forget that you’re a real person with a real life that’s not always perfect. thank you for your vulnerability.
I may be in the minority but I found this post a little whiny. It all comes down to choices and I feel you are making choices that are stressing you out in order to maintain a fairly nice and cushy lifestyle. It’s hard to feel terribly bad for you as you take free vacations to Mexico and subsidized trips to Paris and France. You are making choices to work hard, take on extra work and expenses, and work lots of hours in order to maintain a pretty sweet lifestyle. I admire your hardwork and drive, but if you feel your relationships are being sacrificed make the choice to slow down. Also, I feel I should note that I am a working mom. I have worked full time, part time, from home and for myself. There are a million and one things I would love to do with my career, but not at the sacrifice of my family relationships.
I agree with other commenters that perhaps your guilt and stress would decrease if you found fulltime childcare for Ruby. If you find a great center you don’t have to worry about what she is doing. I can honestly say the only time I have felt guilty about leaving my kids at a babysitter or daycare is if I get called and they are sick. (and vice versa I feel a little guilty not working if I have to stay home with sickos). What if you committed to only working 9-5? Being halfway present for both a job and your kids is hard.
Thank you 😉
Hope youre doing well!
Joy
I’m definitely struggling with those feelings. I left my job after my (almost) two year old was born. I freelance design and work on my blog. But because my freelance is so spotty, I don’t have any help with my son. I’m trying so hard to really focus on my blog because it’s such a creative outlet for me and I just love it so. But it always gets pushed back because I’m chasing after my little one and trying so hard to find new ways for him to learn and explore. Sometimes I feel like I need to live in the moment more. I’m always looking to the next thing, my mind spins and I wish I had just a little more me time. I understand the juggle that mothers feel. I don’t want to ever wish this time away, I just wish I had a little more of ME to go around.
My sons are now 15 and 18 and I started my own business when my eldest was just 6 months old. Just know that what you’re experiencing now is just one part of your life with Ruby, it won’t be like this forever. Embrace the exhaustion, the stress, the worry, the joy, the madness. Because one day it will be behind you and Ruby will be 18 and you will miss that frantic time in your life. As hard as it seems at times I can, with confidence and certainty, tell you that it all turns out OK!
I couldn’t have explained it better myself and I don’t even have kids! My life has become more manageable by scheduling and organizing as far in advance as possible but I still feel guilty about some of the very same things. I think the hardest part is when you have friends who have 9-5 jobs and can leave work at wok. Many have the preconceived notion that when you run your own business it’s easy to separate work and personal time when in fact it’s the opposite. Yes, our schedules have more flexibility but there’s always something that requires your attention and sometimes you are the only one who can take care of those things. It’s nice to know that even a mentor like you struggles with some of the same issues I do but don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure it’s hard with your friends and family at times, but on the other hand you’ve inspired so many of us by sharing your successes along with the struggles that come with it. Nobody has a playbook for life but we love following yours. xoxo
I am just adding another big THANK YOU to the long list — I don’t usually comment but this time, I really have to say thanks. This post made me feel so much better as I am in one of those time where I don’t know how to juggle with everything I do (or try to do) (and I don’t even have a baby).
I just read something about the impostor syndrom, when you feel like a big cheater and everyone doesn’t seem to notice how not capable you are to do everything that is expected of you, and how it affects women a lot more than men. The article said that we sometimes feel that way because we chose ourselves role models who seem perfect to us, who appear to have it all figured out, and that we then feel inferior to them, incapable to ever reach their perfection level. So it is so very nice to hear that these role models don’t actually know everything all the time, that they still struggle like we do. I’m saying this because even if I don’t personally know you, and you don’t me, I have come to consider you one of my role models — you seem like a great mother, a great worker, an overall amazing person.
This may be a little weird, but thank you again, so much. And keep up the good work !
(I apologize for any mistake you might find in my comment, I am French and not so perfect with my English skills).
Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel like this is something a lot of people struggle with but don’t talk about much. I honestly feel guilty all the time too and then that makes me grumpy which makes me feel more guilty because not only do I not feel like I am doing enough but I feel like I am then ruining what good time is happening by being grumpy. It is a horrible cycle, but I am making an effort to take a step back and remind myself that I can’t always do it all and should be happy with what does get done so as not to ruin the good things/times.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. I didn’t come up with that ( I think it was Teddy Roosevelt?) but as a self-employed mama of a 9 month old, I come back to it every-freaking-day. You’re allowed to be human! Don’t forget that.
My husband and I run a company, NewDuds and I feel ya girl. I wrote a similar post here.. http://twotinvt.blogspot.com/2013/09/feeling-left-out.html and continue to write about it. Its such a juggle and a struggle. My heart aches to work more and my heart aches to be with my baby more. I am trying to ramp up a product line with the knowledge that I can only do so much. We have a year old son and want another kid and keep mentally putting that baby back a year or two. Or is it smarter to make them closer in age and just be patient until they are both in school? Who the heck knows. Just remind yourself that “you are doing the best you can, you are doing the best anyone could” really YOU ARE, I PROMISE. And then spend some time with your hubbster or your friends. Let things go and say no. I should take my own advice sometime 😉
thank you for this! the holiday season seems to lay it on thick and it’s nice to know we’re not alone. happy holidays mama!
Joy you are killing it!
I know the feeling- nothing is ever enough- but we just have to try to focus on what we have done and what we can do and not what we haven’t.
I totally get this–and I’m not even a mom! I’ve been hearing a lot of debate lately as to whether women can and should “have it all”. I really don’t know. I just think the most important thing we can do is try to love what we have! Easier said than done, of course.
Thanks so much for sharing this–I love your positive and fun attitude, but it’s always good to hear that writers/artists/bloggers are real people too.
I think if people often ask you “how are you doing?” is that on your blog and your workspace apparently , do not let it show through … You are professional. Behind the scenes, it’s something else …
I’m a freelance stylist and mom halftime, like you. I admire the work done and fragile balance introduced … I know work in the evening and lack of sleep … In this busy planning, you probably need to add a moment to relax and pause… But when? 🙂
I adore your website, and I adore you even more for this post. I’m also a fellow graphic designer with two year old twins (I think they are a month younger than Ruby). I have mainly been a stay at home mum for last two years, but my creative brain also won’t let me stop. I’m also trying to launch my own stationery business, as well as getting back on the freelance circuit. My website has taken come to a standstill the last 6 months due to moving so my parents can help with childcare. My hubby is also a freelance designer, we constantly feel that juggle & I know I constantly feel guilty. I wish you all the best with your endeavours. Thanks for being such a inspiration xx
Hey Joy,
I am writing this to you from Sweden. I am an illustrator as well as a mother of three boys age 5-10.
Childcare here is amazing and costs next to nothing, but we very lucky but still juggle. Even if a lot less then you do.
Then, while working I listened to This American Life’s latest podcast called Unconditional Love. Oh boy, do I have it easy. It was great for me to get some perspective and shed some tears while listening to the most hard working parents around.
Do listen! Radio is one of the few things one can do while multi tasking!
Happy Holidays,
Stina
Joy, like so many others, this post hits home with me. Mama guilt is so strong, and it’s something that Dads just don’t really understand in the same way. I heard someone say once that motherhood (especially working motherhood) isn’t juggling, it’s just making sure the bottom-most ball doesn’t hit the ground.
The amazing, wonderful (and slightly bittersweet) thing about kids is that they’re constantly changing. As they do, so does your relationship with them and your ability to do more/less with respect to work. You’re dealing with a hard stretch now, but when Ruby goes to preschool it will be a bit easier. If you decide to have another, it will be a lot harder…and then easier again. It’s hard to “go with the flow” this way, especially when you’re committed to your career, but just accepting that it won’t always been so damn difficult is a nice relief. (Or so I tell myself.)
Hang in there! You’re clearly a wonderful mother who is teaching your daughter the value of cultivating a beautiful, happy life. What a gift!
Thanks for putting this out there. My GOSH do I understand. I work 7am-3pm every day and have a toddler as well– all the “mom guilt” that oomes with having a child can be so detrimental. Hang in there. I would say “it gets easier” but honestly I have no idea if that’s true, and I wish someone could tell me that as well. All i CAN say is that you’re not alone and its nice to hear someone more “successful” put that out there. prioritizing helps and so does taking vacations 🙂
joy this was so honest and lovely and all so true. my little guy is 16 months now and i feel like i’m feeling that crunch more and more – the title of “part time stay at home mom with a full time business” really resonated. that and slamming together a crappy dinner…
i think you are truly amazing – balance and juggling i think might just always be part of it, especially for many of us working moms who want both a creative, successful career and a happy family. know you are not alone in this daily struggle – someone above made a great point, that once ruby is in school you will have more time, but for now this time is so precious! sometimes the internet feels like such a rat race, and that we always must be coming up with ideas and developing these great projects and collaborating, it’s so hard to say no, too – ! i can only imagine how overwhelmed you must feel – you are the star of the internet and in high demand! (and for good reason!) i suppose stopping to acknowledge when it becomes too much, realize and make tiny daily changes, however small, and constantly re-adusting and re-evaluating to make it work might always be in the cards … but i wish you strength and positive vibes in trying to figure it all out!
Hi, a good friend of mine sent me this post because it relates so closely to my recently completed documentary film about four mothers struggling/succeeding/failing and definitely feeling guilty about this balancing act. It’s called “Lost In Living” and I followed the women for seven years. You can check out the trailer at http://www.maandpafilms.com/lostinliving. And I’d be happy to send you a screener if you like what you see. Thanks so much for adding to the conversation in such an honest and vulnerable way. All the best, Mary
http://www.facebook.com/lostinliving
So I have this theory. Lots of people say they wonder what they did with their time pre-baby and how they regret wasting it. But maybe having kids teaches you loads of stuff including how to appreciate your time – so you couldn’t have looked back and seen things like this without her, and you’ll appreciate your time more in future. Hindsight is a false friend. Thank you for this post!
Thank you for sharing. It made me tear up a little to, and I’m not even a mom. I’m scared that I won’t be able to take care of it all. I’m afraid to fulfill my dream of having kids, just because my husband and I both run our own business. On one hand I’m proud to be a entrepreneur but sometimes it makes me jealous of others and sad as well. I can’t imagine living a life without children, but I can’t imagine a child in my life at the moment. I’m turning 30 next year, so there’s not so much time left. Sometimes I’m a bit jealous of the bloggers I follow too. It always seems so colorful and sunny on the other on the other side of the computer… It sounds a bit mean, but it’s good to read about the struggles of others, it makes us all more ‘human’ I suppose. Keep your head up Joy and all the other struggling ladies around here! As long as there is a little love in everything you do, it will be alright.
I stumbled upon your blog and this post, i know exactly what you mean. I worked full-time in a high pressure and demanding non-office based job while my two boys were small, I’ve since significantly downgraded my work commitments in order to focus on my family’s needs, is it ‘better’? No, it’s different, I feel professionally unfulfilled although I know my children are happy to have more time with me. I anticipate it will change again as they get a bit older and I can increase my work commitments. I don’t think anyone has the perfect solution (unless they have unlimited resources, maybe?) but I would say you, I, and all the other commenters are doing our best given our personal situations,, and I think that’s all we can ask. You clearly love your daughter, and enjoy your work, be proud of what you have achieved, and well done for speaking out.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this! I think that so many women feel this way but it’s hard to tell with the way the blogging community has a tendency to only repot positivity and success. It’s stressful to be a woman entrepreneur–I feel like I have to say yes to everything that comes my way, and I always want to be accomplishing more and growing. I’m only 26 with no family of my own and I feel like the same way you do, guilty that I’m not giving 100% to any single thing at a given time, and I’m terrified of what will happen when I do finally get married and have a family. I imagine you do a better job than you give yourself credit for. And just think what a wonderful example you are for your daughter by trying to grow something for yourself while taking care of your family. She will be very proud of you one day when she understands what you have accomplished!
I feel exactly the same but maybe a little bit worse. I have to small boys, one is 4 the other is 1. I have part time job to pay the bills, that is slowly killing me. During the evenings and nap times I work on developing surface and textiles collections. But I know all of this is for a good reason. The most important message I’m sending my children is that you have to work hard to reach your dreams and never give up chasing them. Good luck to everyone and Joy, just keep hanging in there cause you’re doing great 🙂
Im always juggling so I only get to read blogs on the weekend. I feel you. I felt like I was scrambling before Henry’s diagnosis and when that hit my “schedule” it just sent me into a tailspin, that was 2/13 and only now do I feel like I am catching up. Im terrible at admitting when I need people to help me out and have such trouble finding someone to help me that I trust. You are so brave to admit it right here for everyone to see.
I think that we would not feel so guilty if we didnt care about our work and kids so much. Im glad that there are people like you making beautiful work and sweet, polite adorable babies like Ruby. Im proud of you and the person you are and glad to call you my friend.
As a working mom, this completely resonates with me too. I don’t have my own business, but it’s still hard to balance it all. You feel like not a very good businesswoman, and not a very good mom. But, the grass is always greener, because while I was on maternity leave both times, I still didn’t feel like a great mom, and I missed work. I try to remind myself if that. I also tell myself I’m being a good example for my daughter. I think it’s so important she grows up knowing she can do anything because her mom DOES, not just SAYS. You have such a cool job! Ruby will know the sky is the limit for her and that’s so exciting. She will also learn work ethic, which you’ve said you learned by seeing how hard your parents worked. That’s so wonderful.
Your honesty is so much appreciated. In the past, I’ve heard other mothers voice the same concerns as you but then time goes by and one forgets and feels GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY. I work part-time and feel I’m missing out either at home or at work because I can’t fully commit (Not to mention feeling bad for neglecting my first children, my dogs). I suppose we all go through this to some extent? Even my stay at home mommy friends have chronic anxiety about whether they will be able to jump back in the work-force when ready. The day-care provider reminded me of something: It’s not the quantity of time you spend with them, it’s the quality.
Wow! I’m just going to add to this long list of comments – but thank gosh you’re not super woman, because really I thought you did it all. I can absolutely agree with you, especially with the let’s be honest I feel guilty and jealous – uggg I feel horrible for even saying that too, but man how can one do it all and why didn’t I take advantage with the free time when I had it. Well and this too shall pass – so thankful to add kids to this crazy life, it’s truly rewarding! Congrats – you are an inspiration.
Wow, what a thoughtful post. As a mother to a 10 month old, fellow blogger, loving wife (when I can be!), to a home-maker/cooker/entertainer… I feel that I am constantly stressed over my priorities, my life balance, and everything in between. I think the hardest part of all is that on the outside when people think “you look so put together” and “you really have it all” it adds to the stress to be extra ‘Perfect’. But what I have found is that the definition of perfect is what you make it. There’s no right or wrong way in life, there is just YOUR way, and what works for you and your family. You have gone above and beyond serving as an inspiration, especially to someone like myself who adores your blog and swoons for your family pics… keep up the amazing work and make sure to take some time to appreciate and celebrate all of your accomplishments because they are really amazing!! xx Amanda
Hang in there! I have my own business and when my children were young, I had those same feelings. But in hindsight, I am so thankful for having my own business. I realize I was able to spend more time with my children than if I worked at a corporate job. I can re-arrange schedules if special school activities happened. I could bring them to work or bring work home if one was sick. I know this is stale but really, these times will pass. Enjoy her! Embrace your work!
Beautiful post, Joy. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much for sharing your juggle-struggles, Joy! I can relate in oh-so-many ways! The past year (I opened a vintage + home decor store Sept/12) has been both the most rewarding and most challenging of my life. Being a business owner/mother of 3/wife/home owner has kicked my butt many a day and I can’t help but laugh (or nearly cry, some days!) when friends marvel at how I’m doing it “all” because I generally don’t feel like I’m doing anything 100% well. But I’m learning to be happy with 50% 🙂 Thanks again for sharing…it’s always great to discover that you’re not alone!
Beautifully honest post. It sure isn’t easy!! Each mama has a unique struggle — whether it’s balancing work with home or just dealing with unique home needs, etc. Sending hugs to you as you navigate this unique time in life.
Joy, what a brilliant and relevant topic to share with us all! I have a very similar challenge: PT child care and a FT job. I also find myself rushing to work the second my daughter goes to sleep. It is hard, so hard. And yet, look at all that you’ve accomplished. You’re right, they are little for such a short time, and I really admire the creative women out there hustling to fulfill their dreams and the dreams of their little ones. Keep it up! You’re doing an amazing job! Liz
“I find myself envious of my friends who can be full-time stay-at-home moms and who don’t have to rush to their computer to work the second their kids are in bed. I also find myself jealous of those who go off to a job where they work 9-5, and then can leave work at work and come home to 100% personal time. I find myself jealous of my friends who don’t have kids and wonder what the heck I spent my time doing pre-baby, because I had so much more time that I didn’t take advantage of.”
YES!Exactly this.
Thanks for sharing, Joy! I don’t have kids yet, but I think about what it would be like to be a mom all the time. When I look back on my own childhood, my best and most vivid memories are of just being home with either one of my parents. I don’t really remember the birthday parties, special excursions, vacations, or the times when my mom was traveling, which she did a lot for her job. I think just the fact that you’re there every day is enough! 🙂 I mean, seriously, my best memories are of my mom drawing me things or of playing in a cardboard box.
Right there with you. I’m overwhelmed at the moment. Love spending time with my son. Love working. Am ambitious. But doing both is simply impossible. I have 1 day childcare and am basically working the whole rest of the time. And trying to keep the house clean. Anything frivolous is out of the window! I feel as though the old, fun, carefree me is long gone. And I ABSOLUTELY HATE how it shifts all the time. Like, fitting in around childcare, naps, everything else. And if ever the system fails – like, somebody gets sick, etc – guess what. It all falls back to mom.
OH – and if Mom is ill, guess what. She just has to deal.
I really needed to let that out. I love my son and like you am so grateful to spend time with him and wouldn’t want him to go to full time childcare. But I am resenting the way it all works at the moment.
I struggle with this everyday! I constantly ask myself, “What if I was just a full time stay at home Mom, instead of trying to balance motherhood, photography and blogging all at the same time!” It’s really hard. You want to be everything to everyone always! Good luck with the pursuit of finding balance and let me know if you find the perfect solution! XX – Melissa
Great post – We have all been there. It is such a struggle to work and be a mom. I can’t even imagine having my own business! I hope you find balance but I think it is definitely an “on-going” thing. Hang in there!
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing this! Do you have a post about how you started your business?
Hi Renn!
I talk about it in different ways in these past posts:
http://ohjoy.blogs.com/my_weblog/2013/03/the-things-i-did-before-i-found-what-i-was-meant-to-do.html
http://ohjoy.blogs.com/my_weblog/2013/06/the-art-of-being-a-goal-getter-part-1.html
http://ohjoy.blogs.com/my_weblog/2013/06/the-art-of-being-a-goal-getter-part-2.html
Best!
Joy
Gotta love that honesty Joy. You are not a superwoman and it’s ok to break down sometimes. The most important thing is to be able to pick yourself up again after a rough season. Keep up the awesome work.
Resonating and echoing big time Joy! I’m a stay at home mum to 3 including twin 2 year olds and a textile designer with my own business. My business partner and I have 5 children between us- I’m writing with a child on my hip at the moment and one getting stuck into the contents of the freezer!
The creative mind- it never stops and if you suppress it a part of your soul is missing- that’s why we continue juggling. Wishing you the best Joy you are not alone!
I could have written this: “We have part-time child-care so I’m basically a part-time stay-at-home mom with a full-time business. And that math doesn’t really work out, so it ends up that I’m working around the clock…” I am in the EXACT same position with a 15 month old, and I’m exhausted. And not that I’m glad you’re in the same position, but it’s reassuring to know that someone I look up to so much in the design industry is dealing with the same juggle but still having great success.
I do not feel like my best mom, designer, business owner/partner, wife, ANYTHING these days, and it’s hard. I feel guilty working while someone else is watching my kid, but I also feel guilty sneaking peeks at my email when I am back in “mom” mode and shouldn’t be working (which is basically impossible). I hate having to work at night after my son is in bed, and I have trouble sleeping because I work late and then can’t shut off my brain. I never wake up feeling rested and ready to tackle the day. After taxes, most of what I earn is going right back out to pay for childcare, but I also can’t imagine letting go of my career and business. We are so strapped financially that even if I did have more time to see the friends I’ve neglected, I’d feel guilty spending the money to go out to a restaurant with them. Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt! Now I just sound like a Debbie Downer 😉 But really, I just wanted to sympathize, say that I agree 100% times infinity, and thank you for writing this. The blog world needs more honesty like this vs. pretty pictures of “perfect” lives that aren’t really so. Thank you. And best of luck to you feeling less guilt and maybe just a teensy bit more balance in 2014 🙂
Thank you so much for this post! I hope you can feel less guilty since it’s impossible to do it all and it sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Anyway to share this on Facebook? Great read and you kindda make me less guilty for trying to do EVERYTHING and being a mum at the same time. I’m from Singapore by the way and I worked frm 8.30-6pm but dont leave the office till its 8pm almost every wkday so i totally understand what you trying to say here. & oh yes, I dont have a nanny, i fetch my daughter frm her nana every nite after work and send her every morning before work. Hub has to travel for work most of the time so yup it can get crazy sometimes.
Hi Sazzy,
Thank you!
You can share on FB by sharing this link!
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153606010670249set=a.10150175380885249.411420.239288340248type=1theater
Joy
You are an incredibly talented successful woman. You are doing what you love while raising a family. Don’t be so hard on yourself! From one mom to another the mommy guilt is there for all of us and it never goes away. Somedays are worse than others, but nothing a Xanax and a session with your therapist can’t fix. My kids are teenagers and believe me as long as the good memories outweigh the bad (Kraft Mac n cheese dinner nights)you’ll be just fine. But you’re a smart woman who has built a brand for herself, I’m sure you know that.
Oh and to us, your followers…everything you do is great! We wouldn’t know that you knocked yourself because you thought it could have been better. To us it’s amazing or we wouldn’t be following! 🙂
Thank you Marlene! 😉
Joy
Hi Joy, I heard a working mom say to a new one, “welcome to ambivalence”. I think it’s unavoidable to feel torn. I’ve been freelancing since I had my daughter six years now and what helps me to is change my perception about time. Try not to dwell on not being able to spend 10 hours working on a project like you’d like to. Squeeze what you can of the time you are able to spend and don’t kill yourself trying to do it all, perfectly. I love your work, by the way.
I do feel the similar way most of the days when even a small thing goes wrong or not as expected because I could not dedicate time for that. I can totally understand and agree with you. We are all the same. There is no perfect way. we just figure out things on the way.
Love,
Janika
I purchased your pitcher and ice cube maker today at Target- found myself wanting to know more about this great designer! “She a blogger too!”, I nearly shouted in the party isle at Target to my husband as our baby girl Zoë (17 months) tried to grab for whatever she could off a shelf or two. I am so glad I found your blog, your design style and your writing is incredibly inspiring!!!! 🙂 Thank you for this post in particular, I think the universe wanted me to find this today. Thank you, I’m sure I’m not the only mom saying it- Thank you for sharing!
Aw thank you so much!!
xo,
Joy
“I’m basically a part-time stay-at-home mom with a full-time business”…thank you for this post! It’s like it came out of my head. I have long-admired all the work you do and, having a 2-yr old daughter and 2-yr old business myself, I have often wondered how successful women like yourself seem to do so much and do it so well. It’s comforting to be reminded that we all have our struggles and feelings of guilt, and grass is greener moments! Thanks for being such a cool and honest example of what it means to be a working mama =)
Thank you so much for this post. I just found your book in a library in Tucson, Arizona, and I checked out your blog. I love it!
Thank you for being honest about how tough it is working and taking care of kids, home, and sanity. 🙂 You are an inspiration.
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Aw, I’m in the exactly same place and you put it in perfect words! I also say it all the time that YOU CAN work from home with your baby/toddler. But boy, as they grow it’s getting harder! It was so much easier when they were little baby’s sleeping hours and hours….
So yes, I find myself waking up at 5am (or work until 4am) to get that project done, reading my emails when I’m at the playground (OMG I’m one of those terrible moms!), stressing out on my partner because he’s never home and always works in the weekends, …
So yeah, I often feel like a single stay-at-home mom with a full-time business too. I can feel a bad designer, a bad mother and a bad wife altogether. But that is mostly the stress talking! When I get good nights sleep I thank God I have an amazing job, I’m thankful for all those precious moments I get to spend with my daughter and I feel damn proud of my boy for running his own restaurant! 🙂 Focus on the goods things there! And, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is heart-warming!
Thanks Anke!!
Joy
Thankful for this post. About to send to a friend with a similar struggle and considering starting a family.
I am always trying to being a good father..But i am not able to give a time to my child she is 3 years old..She is so cute..