I know I am! As I get older (and maybe grumpier), I find myself more annoyed with holidays that have been created as another reason to buy things people don’t want or need. We give out dozens of cards to our kids’ classes, we make dinner reservations for meals to celebrate love, and we find the need to have a “Valentine” or define why we don’t need one at all. Couldn’t the day be about celebrating the existence of love in our lives in whatever form that is?

Ever since I had kids, my husband and I stopped going to Valentine’s Day dinners. There was no reason to pay more for dinner that night and stress over getting a reservation for this specific night for a holiday that didn’t define our family or our history (anniversaries makes so much more sense)! Instead, we decided to have low-key dinners at home with our little Valentines—whether that meant a heart-shaped pizza or an extra special dessert. I’ll gladly bring something fun into the day (mostly for our kids) simply because it’s still fun for them. But we’ll remind them that they need not have a “Valentine” to celebrate love on this day.

So this year, if you’re madly in love, just broken up, in a fight, in a rut, coasting, or thriving, I hope that on February 14th, you can look in the mirror, look around you to your community, neighbors, friends and family, and you can see real love. That’s what this day should be about. And if you want to celebrate with chocolates and flowers, so be it! (Pro tip: wait until the 15th and get everything on discount.) We’re celebrating genuine love, and we hope you join us.