Last year, I read the book Hunt, Gather, Parent, and it opened my eyes to all the things that kids can be doing to contribute to their household. These are often things that Americans call “chores” but other cultures simply consider those tasks part of everyday life and how we can all contribute to the family. My kids are both elementary school age where they are old enough to do lots of things, and it made me reconsider the things I do for them that they can be doing for themselves, instead. I’ll give you a couple examples of things I changed last year:

Picking out clothes for school
Part of my evening routine was to get out their clothes for school the next day to help make the hectic school day mornings easier. And then I realized, “Why am I doing this?” This was an easy task to hand over to them because they were already having stronger opinions about their clothes anyway, so it was easy to make it their responsibility to pull clothes for the next day. In the transition, I initially had to constantly remind them before bedtime to prep their clothes for the next day, and now it’s become a daily habit for them.

Packing snacks and lunch for school
I hate packing lunches. I wish I was one of those parents who makes those super cute bento box lunches that look like characters, but I’m not! I never knew what to make or what to put in those lunch boxes to make it new and exciting. I always packed the same few options. Packing snacks weren’t a painful, but last year I turned both things over to the kids. Surprisingly, they loved the idea of getting to do it themselves. My kids do a mix of lunch at school and packed lunches, so it feels like a fun mix for them. They know they can’t pack a lunch or snack full of sugar, and they do a decent job mixing in things that are healthy with some fun things. I let them decide what lunch ingredients we buy at the grocery store so they have the things they need to pack their lunches when needed. Every night, after dinner, lunch or snack packing is now part of their routine.

Packing and unpacking for sleepovers, overnight trips, and vacations
When it came to vacations, I always found myself responsible for packing for three (mine plus the two kids), and my husband would handle his own stuff. Travel felt more stressful for me always because of the weight I put on myself to be responsible for 3/4 of my family’s stuff! So, now when it’s time for a trip, I give my kids a list of what to bring (it lists the types of clothes they need and quantity for each), and I give them a deadline of when it needs to be done. Depending on the trip (usually new places or longer trips), I might check their suitcase before we go. But often, if it’s short and casual, I leave it up to them to make sure they packed what they needed.

The same goes for unpacking. The day we arrive home from a trip, they have to unpack their suitcase before they go to bed that night—all dirty clothes in the hamper, all unused clothes go back where they belong, and overnight bags or suitcases get stored away in their closet.

I can’t tell you how amazing it’s been to hand over these tasks to them. I’ve positioned all of these things as giving them the freedom to choose the things they want to bring/wear/pack, and it doesn’t make it seem like a some terrible chore they have to do.

Once you decide to hand over something to your kids to do that you normally do, you’ll be surprised how much better they do it than you expected, and how nice it is (for you) to have one less thing to do!