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happy friday + getting ready for 2 kids…

Oh Joy / Floral Crowns

Oh Joy / Floral Crowns

Oh Joy / Floral Crowns

At 37 weeks, this whole second baby thing is starting to get real. I'm excited, but nervous, to start this whole process again. I'm anxious to have a tiny, helpless person in my arms. I'm unsure about how it will be to be a mother of two, how to juggle that whole life thing, to see how Ruby will handle sharing her world with another baby. If you have any tips or suggestions for me as we crossover from parents of one to two, I am all ears!

Have a great weekend, guys. We'll just be hanging out and wearing these crazy beautiful floral crowns that Siren Floral Co. made from my Fox and Sparrow session yesterday (more photos from that soon)!

{Photos by Oh Bob}

33 comments

  1. Going from one to two was a seismic shift for me – it felt like we added 22 kids! The hardest thing was the regression from our 5 year old, who suddenly wanted to eat in a high chair and wear diapers again. My advice is to be patient with yourself and with Ruby. Change is good but change is HARD! You’ll both be fumbling and it’s ok – that’s how you learn. Make a few dinners to stick in the freezer, buy some extra plates and bowls (sometimes dishes just don’t get washed) and breathe. Read an extra story, sing an extra song, stay up a little past the regular bedtime. It’s all good.

  2. I’ve been reading about your second pregnancy from the beginning and I’m getting slightly impatient with this waiting!! Ha! Only kidding…my sister’s daughter was very protective of her little brother and really didn’t like it…if she felt people (family members!) were standing to close to him….or holding him for too long…because we were doing it wrong!
    http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk

  3. My biggest advice is to tell baby 2 every so often she has to be patient while you are helping ruby. It has helped my toddler so much to hear she isn’t the only one that has to be patient! Also give Ruby a snack when you feed the baby.

  4. I don’t want to scare you, but the transition from one to two was really difficult. Like Dianne said, I might as well have had a bunch of babies. I felt guilty at first, like I was cheating on my first baby. She loved her brother immediately, but felt really hurt by me because of the shared attention (and because I couldn’t interact with her in my normal way thanks to a c-section) so she acted out and she realized quickly that she could get away with anything while I was breastfeeding, and in the early weeks I couldn’t do much to wrangle her at all. I found extra love to be much more effective than extra discipline. Remember, the first child has just gone through a major upheaval…imagine if your husband brought home a second wife and then punished you for being upset about it. The best thing is to expect it, and know it will get better. My second is 6 months old now, and everything is much more manageable.
    Ok, now to the good stuff…you really do love the second as much as the first, and you love the first as much as you always did. Two kids might be harder, but the second baby is SO much easier because you know what you’re doing. The sleep deprivation is easier the second time because you’re used to being tired already. And the best, and most surprising thing to me was how early they became friends. I didn’t think they would really interact until much later, but at just a couple of months they were already so bonded, and at two and a half and six months they already play together and it makes my heart burst!

  5. Be gentle on yourself, especially after having your second. Think of every event you attend and chore you do around the house as a victory instead of an obligation.

  6. I felt guilty too when my second was born! It is amazing how your heart expands to love the new baby just as much as the first.
    My advice: give yourself a break, it won’t be perfect, but that is ok. Give yourself lots of time to go places, spend some one-on-one time with Ruby when you can. I know some people give their other children a gift when the new baby is born so they don’t feel left out of all the gifts and excitement.
    Just remember that you are doing the very best you can do at that moment and that is perfect for you and your family. You will do great!

  7. So exciting! You and your family will adjust but it’ll take time. My 3 year old loves her baby sister. Before you sit down to feed the baby, always remember your phone, the tv remote, a glass of water and make sure Ruby has a snack or activity. Also I always ask my older daughter if she has to go potty before I feed the baby. Always seems like I sit down for 2 minutes and then she’s got to go and then it’s feeding time while sitting on the edge of tub. Haha!

  8. Going from one to two was difficult, for sure, but my oldest is 2 and my younger one is almost 6 months, and it’s getting easier every day to manage them both! It’s overwhelming at first but so, so awesome! Be easy on yourself, take help whenever you can, and try to cherish each moment- time is going WAY faster with baby #2!!!!

  9. I just had my second baby last Friday. No expert here, so I was eager to read the advice in the comments section! What I can share is that, so far, it’s been 90% positive and happy from my toddler. We’ve made a point of creating special mommy/Griffin times – like doing a puzzle at the table in the evening while my husband plays with the baby – and I think that’s been helpful. I’m sure it will be a continually evolving relationship, but the first week has gone much more smoothly than I feared (I was so, so nervous beforehand). Like Griffin, Ruby is old enough to talk through a lot of the details. We’ve focused on using a simple, consistent narrative (ie “mommy has an owie on her stomach. It will be better in a few weeks and then you can sit on my lap. It’s going to be hard to be patient! But I can still do kisses.”) that is easy for him to understand and own and repeat himself. One thing to look forward to: it has been so special watching the two siblings interact and bond. Little like seeing G gently reach to hold his sister’s hand while my husband helps him hold the baby, are amazing.

  10. Love these pictures! Soooo cute!
    I think balancing two kids is something that comes naturally. Sure there will be bumps in the road but the big sis and you will learn a new normal and will adjust to new little one being around.
    Dresses & Denim

  11. I won’t give advice because I know you’ve got this – you do!
    But I will say not to be too scared (even though heaven knows, I will SO scared)… it is so bittersweet and all of those emotions everyone mentioned but it can be great too (it also varies SO much, as does everything in life/parenting, from family to family). Our personal experience was that we had much more of a transition going from 0 to 1 than we did when we brought home #2. So again, you’ve totally got this.
    Can’t wait to see your gorgeous family with the new little nugget!!

  12. I agree with all the advice in the comments above. Two was harder than one, and adding a third almost did me in, but I love my girls so dearly. Time does make things easier. Take help whenever it’s offered, and remember that you know more than you think you do – certainly more than you did last time. Your biggest critic is going to be yourself, so go easy and encourage patience in your home. We all struggle with change, but we all make it. You will too!

  13. Hi Joy,
    I’ve noticed most with families who may have two or more children to bring up, that connecting and allowing the other sibling to be involved is a great way to build love and, sad to say, but allow their first child to not feel left out when they care for their other so sibling.
    It’s a good way for them to bond and feel connected in a way on both levels.
    Having two children can be a handful in some ways, but understanding and love can be greater.
    Take care with your pregnancy second time, and enjoy taking it easy step-by-step.

  14. We just made the transition from one to two almost 3 months ago. I was pleasantly surprised at how well our three-year-old daughter does with her baby sister, she loves being a big sister. We were able to keep a lot of our older daughter’s routine the same which really seem to help with the adjustment. Also we read quite a few books about being a big sister before and after the baby came and she will quote lines from those books back to us sometimes, so they seem to have resonated with her. I second the feedback about accepting help when people offer, makes a big difference. I’m sure you all will do great!!!

  15. Before I had my second child, I could not imagine how I could love another as much as I loved my first born, but my heart just expanded and now I can’t imagine what it was like just to have one. Also experiencing the love and bond grow every day between the two siblings is priceless.

  16. You are so close to the end!! How exciting! And scary of course! 🙂 My advice is to get some special toys or games that Ruby can play with only when the baby is feeding. I did that with my daughter and she so looked forward to playing with the “special toys”. I also really included her in helping with her baby brother so she felt a part of everything. She would go get blankets or diapers or just snuggle him for a few mins. She is such a sweet big sister and has never been jealous of her little brother. She would do anything to protect him. Best of luck!! It is super hard but of course worth all the hard work! 🙂

  17. My first daughter was 6 when my second daughter was born. It was really hard for my first since it always been just the two of us for six years. She loves her little sister immediately but there were times when she was super jealous with the baby. Me being hormonal and tired and lack of patience, sometimes i lashed out on her. It was hard on me… Feeling tired and quilty most of the time. But now the baby is almost 2, it is so much easier now. But i gotta tell ya….. To see both of them embrace each other as sisters are the best feeling i have ever felt! Giving maddie, my first daughter, a sister is best thing i ever given her. Good luck with your second one! It will be hard at the beginning but it will be all worth it!

  18. I’ve always maintained that going from 1 to 2 was harder than 0 to 1 or 2 to 3… it is hard at first. But as long as you recognize how hard it is you’ll be able to go with the flow (read: lower your standards on some things) and it will all work out!

  19. oh joy, you will love what happens when you bring that baby into your home. Ruby is going to love her with passion, gusto and all of it unconditionally, and that little baby will actually be hers. And this little baby is going to love every ounce of her big sister. The first time you hear that amazing giggle that will only come from the amusement a bigger sibling can create, you will fall in love with your life and all those in it all over again. Kids are hard, but siblings are another one of those little blessings that makes it all worth while.

  20. I got my first daughter at the same time you got Ruby and the second one 20 months later. To me having a second kid was so much easier than a first one! You are more experienced, more relax so everybody is. It is a lot of work but easier from 1 to 2. I think main point is to know you can’t do everything perfectly.

  21. Congratulations! You are almost there. I am 39 weeks with our first and still waiting. Many friends have had their littles close in age. There may be rivalries and regressions, but just know that you are giving Ruby the chance to make a best friend for life! My brother and I are six years apart, and I was away at college before he even hit his teen years. Although I love him dearly, sadly, he is a stranger to me. Growing up with a sibling close in age will help Ruby to learn so much about herself.

  22. I had the baby number two blues. I felt completely unsure about how I was going to manage dividing my time and my love between two children. Even when my second child was born, I initially felt a disconnect. But it eventually subsided and now, I feel silly even thinking the prospect that I wouldn’t be able to love her.
    My tip is to prepare…it gets exponentially harder to get out the house with each added child [i think there’s an algorithm somewhere by someone super smart that backs this up]. But also don’t beat yourself up, if you fall short in one way or another. Involve ruby in taking care of the baby…and just enjoy your children. As a mother, I sometimes stress sooooooooo much about if I’m doing the right thing…are they engaged enough with activities…but at the end of the day, you’re children are your number one fans…and they just want to spend that time with you.
    I hope this gives you a little comfort. 🙂

  23. I’m late to the party but I still wanted to give my two cents.
    You will quickly realize just how mature Ruby is. She is at such a great age to be a big sister. You’ll find out how grateful you are to have her around. Three year old girls are great company for Mom and really helpful. My daughter just turned three when we had my second daughter. Once number 2 was born I quickly realized how mature and independent my oldest was. We had been babying her a little to much and not recognizing that she was able to do a lot on her own.
    Also it will be great to see how close your husband and Ruby become at this time. For a time he will probably take over a lot of the responsibility with her.
    Oh and just wait until the girls become best friends. It will happen quicker than you realize (probably around 8 months) and you’ll be on the outside of the cool click.

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