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Fashion Beauty Journal

in the mirror…

Giant Photo Booth Photos

Giant Photo Booth Photos

The other day, Ruby wanted to play dress-up and asked me for a princess dress to wear (yes, the dreaded princess phase has started!). Since we don't have any play dress-up clothes, I pulled out a flower girl dress that was sitting in the back of her closet that she had never seen before. Her eyes lit up as I helped her put it on. She immediately walked over to the mirror and stared at herself for a good five minutes. She didn't know I was listening, and I overheard her saying…

"Wow. I am sooo beautiful. My hair is so beautiful. My dress is so beautiful. I look really beautiful today."

At first, I found myself laughing to myself like, "Oh boy, what kind of kid did I create?" and then, I realized I was asserting my adult judgement on what I overhead. If you overheard a grown-up woman looking in the mirror saying that same set of phrases, most people would scoff at her and think she was full of herself. Yet, when a child does it, it's super cute and innocent.

As adult women, often we look in the mirror and pick apart the things we don't like about ourselves rather than finding something we love. I am super guilty of it lately as I obsess over the last five pounds of baby weight around my mid-section.

What I loved most about Ruby's reaction to her reflection is that it was full of self-love, but also it was just super honest and she didn't care what anyone else thought. She didn't ask me if I thought she was beautiful. She made that decision on her own.

Without getting too Start Smalley on you, it's a way of thinking that we could all do a better job at for ourselves.

{Photo via Amanda Rydell}

23 comments

  1. Such a sweet sweet post. It makes me smile! Children’s innocence is so beautiful!!!! 🙂
    Thank you for sharing, Joy!

  2. I think that we should all look in the mirror tonight ( and every day!) and repeat exactly what Ruby is saying. We all are beautiful and need to remind ourselves of that!
    glitterandgrey.wordpress.com

  3. I love this! Thanks, Ruby, for reminding us women to love what we see in the mirror no matter what anyone else thinks. Hope her excellent self-esteem follows her to adulthood 🙂

  4. How sweet is Ruby, and how right too!! Even though we are our children’s parents and we usually teach them about the world, it is amazing how they too are our teachers sometimes. I have two boys and often have those aha! moments with them too. I keep learning about myself from them!

  5. Such a joyful and uplifting post, Joy, thank you! I hope I get to overhear my little girl saying such wonderful things to herself too one day. She can’t talk yet, but I hope that I’ll be giving her the encouragement and affirmation that you’ve obviously been giving Ruby, that she will be in no doubt that she’s a very precious human being! X

  6. I’m with you, we need to focus more the things we love about ourselves rather than the things we wan’t to change and not to seek assurance from others!

  7. I love that toddlers are unfiltered and unphased by self-doubt and judgement. Good luck with the princess phase; my daughter wore her Frozen dress daily for 2 months straight! (it was cute at first, but eventually I had to hide it!)
    -Chanelle

  8. So cute! If I were Ruby I’d say the same thing. 🙂 Our babies are only a couple weeks apart and I’m also sad about the last five pounds! 🙁 everyone told me how easy it is to lose weight from breastfeeding but it’s not! Thank you for the positive message!

  9. Seems like you’re already doing a great job at this, Joy! I think the fact that Ruby said those wonderful things to herself in the mirror is a testament to how she has witnessed you talking about yourself. (To this stranger on the internet, at least) you seem like a very mindful person and I’m sure you’ve been careful not to bash yourself in front of her.
    I vividly remember my mom putting herself down about lots of things. She taught me a lot of things that I’ve had to unlearn. Now that I’m a new mom to a precious daughter, I’m making a promise to myself that I don’t have to be perfect but that I’ll try my hardest to pause before I feel compelled to tear myself apart in the mirror or anywhere else, whether I’m in front of my daughter or not. I know very well that even at a young age, girls mimic their mothers and other important women in their life. So, I guess what I’m saying is, congrats, mama!

  10. the point you raised is totally true. may be we should start looking ourselves again with a child’s eye and admire, appreciate what we already have. beautiful post here.

  11. This is so sweet! My son loves looking at his reflection in the mirror… Especially when he puts on his fedora and very cool sunglasses. He knows he looks good & I love it! This is a great reminder to us not to be so nit picky about ourselves. Thanks for sharing xx Erin of MOMMETRY

  12. This is cute! I think it’s wonderful that she has high self esteem. Confidence is so important to instill in little girls at a young age. I do hope that she is also learning to value who she beyond her looks. So much of women’s identity is tied up in appearances, it can be limiting as she gets older. This Huff Post article “how to talk to girls” really hit home for me. I wonder what your thoughts are http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/882510

  13. How cute. I love watching my daughter prance about in front of the mirror without a care in the world. My girls go to school dressed in all sorts of mad outfits and all the other parents laugh at them and think they are crazy. I love that they are individual and that they don’t yet have that preconceived notion of what they “should” be wearing. I find it a little bit sad that my daughter has started coming home from school saying she can’t wear certain things because her friends will laugh at her.

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