i hope you find a squeezable granny to be with little ruby! also, we used sleepy planet’s sleep easy solution at around 8 months (we were late to the sleep training) and elodie’s been sleeping soundly through the night ever since. wishing you a restful weekend!! xo e

The sleeping thing can be challenging. What worked best for me was to let go of all expectations — that my baby won’t likely sleep like a textbook. That really helped me to cope with all the late night feedings. And at 8 months, she is still not sleeping through the night. And that’s just how it is…not gonna stress about it.

I agree with Tanya. Sleep training doesn’t work the same way with every child. You go through phases. Some weeks will be great, others no so much. You can’t stress, just adapt. Good luck!

I agree with Tanya, let go of expectations and realize that your precious baby will sleep according to her schedule, not yours. Structure and routine are all good things, but programming a sleeping schedule may not be a realistic expectation as baby grows and changes. Just when they settle into a rhythm then you will have teething issues, growing pains, illness – all of which can upset the apple cart.
Plus, all babies are individuals and what works for you and your girl may not work for others. And vice versa.
My baby is 10 years old now and she sometimes still needs her mama during the night. But hold onto the thought that you will sleep again; I am at the stage where I can’t even recall the sleepless nights. Now child birth, that’s still a fresh memory!
Good luck and enjoy.

Eat/Play/Sleep WORKS! Stick to the sleep training! Its not always a walk in the park but with dedication it can be great for the little one! I decided the gift of sleep was a great gift to give my daughter, so I stuck to it!

You and Ruby looks so sweet and snugly in your ring sling, Joy! Love it. We got lucky with our girl Juniper and sleeping. She’s been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months (with a dream feed before I go to bed.) The Sleep Sheep helped us train her that it was sleep time, both at night and for naps during the day. And I put her in a sleep sack to signal that it’s time to sleep and stop playing. A little baby massage before bed and a squeeze of Weleda Calendula oil in the bath also helps wind her down at night. Happy weekend!

Such a nice photo of you and baby Ruby! you can see how happy you are 😉

I use to be a nanny before I had my own children and worked for many years. If you are only looking for someone part-time make sure she/he is not looking for a full-time, or more hours then you are going to offer. Even if they say they can work with your hours they eventually will look for a new job.
I also think finding someone older that you feel comfortable with would most likely be the best fit and I say that because their agenda is so much different than someone younger.
Oh and a great nanny will ask to hold your child or go and be near her at the interview. That shows a genuine interest in the child. I took part in a few interviews with my old employer (whom I am friends with) and I was so surprised that most of the nannies didn’t play with the child on the floor or attempt to interact with them. It was beyond odd.
You will know when you find the right person. It will feel very comfortable, they will be warm with your child and you will feel like they are just an extension of you. Good luck in your search and if you have any questions go ahead and ask.

We went for the older grandmotherly type and it was so completely the right decision (for us). She LOVES our daughter, offers advice and support (but not too much) and is super flexible because she doesn’t have her own kids or school/other job to distract her.
We did sleep training at 4 months, earlier than recommended, but it was so clear that our daughter was ready. We did modified Ferber and it worked beautifully. But don’t expect to do it once…it’s a lifetime approach. Sleep changes as circumstances do.
And true, babies are unpredictable but it’s all about giving them the OPPORTUNITY to sleep and to follow a schedule. It’ll make your life easier.

Every baby is different. Our little one slept through the night beginning at 2.5 months and has slept 12 hours each night since 4 months! We still don’t really now HOW it happened; it just did. I think having a very consistent bedtime (and routine) as well as a consistent wake up time really helped. Those really set the tone for the whole eat/play/sleep schedule. Keep at it! It definitely won’t happen overnight and there will be hiccups along the way.
BTW, you’re looking great, Joy! 🙂

Oh and about sleeping through the night…my youngest was 5 when I finlayy was able to get a decent night’s sleep. Now my oldest is 17 and I wake up at 5:30 with him to see him off to school. He doesn;y need my help in the morning but soom he’ll be off to college and i can;t get this time back. oh and I don;t sleep when my boys are out. So pretty much motherhood is wonderul and sometimes sleep gopes on the back burner. But, trust me i love to sleep! oh it’s my favorite! xoxo

I was a nanny before I was a mama and as to finding the right fit – choose the person who you feel most comfortable with, whoever that happens to be. Nanny interviews are a lot like dating – it’s all about the chemistry. You really won’t have any idea of who’s going to be right until you meet her in person and see how she interacts with your little one.
Feel free to email me if you want to know how the nanny/family fit works from the nanny’s POV. Good luck! 🙂 I’m sure you’ll find someone great!

I’m a lurker, but I really wanted to throw my two cents worth in. I am a young nanny who does it because I love children! I often get offended by the things people say about young nannies on the internet….
I do it because I love it, and I get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction out of my work. I study, but I try to put my work family’s needs first, and so far have been successful in juggling work and part-time study (Nanny for 6 years, studying for 2). My positions have all ended on a positive note, mainly because the children (most of whom I’d had since babies) were starting preschool, although I’ve always continued on as a babysitter for those families.
On the flip side, two of my positions have been because the family went for the grandma-type, and it didn’t work out. One woman had grandchildren, who she always cancelled work for at the last minute. The other didn’t have the energy to keep up with a toddler and a baby, and had the TV on most of the day. She also never took the children out of the house to the park etc.
People talk about nannies always leaving families in the lurch, but it works both ways. I’ve had a family announce a two-month holiday a week before they leave, in another family the dad decided overnight he wanted to be a SAHD (even his wife didn’t know), and they gave me no notice. Both tricky situations!
I actually don’t think age will come into it for you…. interview a mix of both. Look for nannies that have had experience with babies and toddlers, and that engage with Ruby upon meeting (although don’t expect them to ask to hold her… I never ask to hold a baby in an interview, because I thinks it’s presumptive, and I don’t know the mother’s preferences regarding strangers holding her baby).
Age won’t guarantee how long the nanny will be with you, or how well she’ll fit in with your family – you just have to go with your intuition. Obviously, someone with a lack of responsibilities (children, grandchildren etc) is going to be more flexible. In my experience, the best nanny-family relationships for me have occurred when the parents have complete trust in the nanny, and communication is really open and easy. Good luck!

Love that you are also using a ring sling. My baby loves it too! And so much easier than maneuvering a stroller around at the grocery store.
Just do what feels right to you.

Hey Joy! Happy to see you babywearing, it’s soo wonderful experience. PLEASE before you start sleep training READ this http://www.attachmentparenting.org/parentingtopics/babysleepstrategies.php .

we read just about every single sleep training book. Ferber was the best. He makes it really clear by laying it out that basically if you rock the little one to sleep and then they wake in their crib all alone it’s like if you fell asleep in your cozy bed and woke on the livingroom floor. They can learn to sooth themselves. It was a tough process, don’t get me wrong. Maybe Bob can take the helm. I was in such pain listening to him cry. We did small increments. The longest he cried was 10-15 minutes but only on and off. It was so painful to hear him. I wanted to go to him…but after two nights of training he forever learned how to sooth himself. He found his thumb and no matter where we go he can sleep. He knows we read, play, hug and kiss but then we put him down and cover him and rub his back for a minute and say “nigh nigh”. It’s worth it. You are teaching him a new skill. There are so many different opinions out there though. There are certainly more than one way. I can tell you though that the earlier you train the better. As long as she can roll over she can make herself comfortable. I have friends with over 2 year olds who struggle night after night. I always wonder why they didn’t sleep train. The struggle and suffering on their part and the kid’s is not good for the family….that’s my two cents!

Im a nanny! I agree with Mary, an agency is a great idea. I have worked with one before and it was awesome for the parents and the nannies as well! And, I know that a lot of people have differing ideas about what is appropriate, mean, too much, too little, etc… when it comes to child sleep habits. Definitely do what feels right… but I would say… try to let them self soothe. Babywise (another controversial issue) has worked well with all the kids Ive nannied as long as YOU can handle it. It can hurt your heart to hear them cry, but its worth it for your sleep health and the babes sleep abilities to stick to a regimen! Good luck!!

I work as a nanny in LA and I would recommend you look for the right person on community groups such as peach head nannies on yahoo, I have found several positions through the group. Best of luck!

I sleep trained and my son started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks (except for one feeding around 4:30) and 12 hours a night by about 12 weeks, but every baby is different. I’d be happy to share what I did if you need advice! I didn’t like the Babywise book. I did find Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child helpful. It is mostly about routine, letting them cry it out (do the 5, 10, 15 method), and often doing an earlier bedtime. Good luck! It is honestly the best thing we did and gave me my sanity back.

I’m a full time nanny and full time graduate student. I worked in a preschool before transitioning to the position I have now. I love the flexibility of my schedule, but the ease of caring for two kids ( 3 and 3 months when I started). I think experience is key – regardless of age!! I’m only 25, but have had lots of training and childcare experience! Go with your gut.

Congratulations, she is so adorable!
I used to spend all of my son’s nap times reading everything under the newborn blog label on http://www.babywisemom.com. She has used Babywise and Baby Whisperer methods with her 3 kids and is part of several parenting groups based on those. No baby is totally “by the book” and we mostly but not totally followed the guidelines etc. in the book and they have been a great fit for our family. My son thrived on an eat/play/sleep routine and he is a great sleeper as a toddler. Good luck with whatever works best for you guys! Enjoy that new baby!

your daughter is beautiful! i’m really enjoying your blog and twitter feeds. have a super relaxing weekend 😉

you look so young! like the older sister to that beautiful baby.

As a nanny myself (27 years old), I think that age has very little to do with being a great nanny. More important factors are relevant experience (especially familiarity with your child’s age group), communication skills, and energy level. You want someone who will partner with you and Bob to offer Ruby consistency in her environment, acting as an extension of your parenting efforts. The best nannies take pride in their work and desire to be treated as professionals – regular (earned) raises, paid time off, and a starting wage that takes into account experience and the living wage of your region are much appreciated (and increase the chances of finding a long-term nanny).

This is such a sweet picture and you are such a cute mama! Sending sleepy vibes Ruby’s way… : )

You’re on the right track with eat/play/sleep (via Baby Wise for us).
I did the same with my three girls, we give ’em a kiss, tuck them in, flip the switch, and then hubs and I watch TV.
Regarding nanny’s, live in a smaller community, we’ve had amazing success with the local college. I have also hired more than one to work to my schedule (rather than not hiring someone amazing because they only wanted 10 hours a week to my need for 25).
Good luck, and that little Ruby is a gem!

you know our nannys have all been young and right out of college / in grad school. the problem has become that they are always….
1 leaving for a job or
2 don’t have any flexibilty because of their school schedule.
they’ve been great but i feel like i’m always looking for help after getting settled with someone for a couple months. i need a mrs. doubtfire.

I agree with the many good points already expressed about choosing a nanny with a genuine interest in your childs age and needs,regardless of their age. I would add to it that the nanny should share or be open to learning about the style of parenting you prefer, they would hopefully have a thirst for knowledge on development and nutrition so that you can engage as a team when these factors come to play in your childs life. I am 33 and have nannied since my teens. My most enjoyable jobs were as described above, the families that inspired me to be educated about childcare meant the role was even more fulfilling than Id thought possible. Best wishes!

Thanks Jen! Ive heard great things about the Sleep Sack, might be a nice alternative to the swaddle we normally have her in!
Joy

I’m in school studying child development and am a part-time nanny. It’s great to be studying what I love AND getting the hands-on experience that you usually don’t get when being just in school. I of course had lots of experience with children before I decided that that was what I wanted to study. Someone like me would be perfect! Maybe check to see if your local university has a job board.

Joy, congratulations on your sweet Ruby! I wanted to put in my 2 cents if they aren’t too late in spending. I know your husband’s an MD, so perhaps he’s already familiar with the research on this, but we found Ferber’s book to be the most useful in terms of understanding the science of sleep cycles and when it would be realistic to begin sleep training (he states that 3-4 months is possible, six months is optimal, for training). Secondly, I think it’s important to note that the American Academy of Pediatrics has expressed strong concerns over the methodologies advocated by the book “Babywise,” as have both Richard Ferber and T. Berry Brazleton; you can Google for more information. Finally, nannies: we had two lovely, ambitious young women as our nannies who loved small children and were energetic and creative in their efforts–don’t discount the benefits of having someone who is not so experienced–it’s wonderful to be the first employer for someone who promises to be an asset to early childhood education. Best of luck in your search and in your sleep training!

Joy,
I was introduced to the book The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems by Tracy Hogg when I was pregnant with my son and her structured routines worked wonders, he slept through the night with no wake ups by 3 months. For my daughter we followed the same principle without the dream feed and she slept through the night starting at 8 weeks. We also used sleep sacks for both of our children and they work great, no wiggling free in the middle of the night. A predictable routine each night trains them to know what to expect next and gives you time for you too!

I wanted to comment after reading the above posts on Babywise. It was recommended to us from multiple family members because it worked great for them. However, it’s important to know that it’s the ONLY book the American Academy of Pediatrics has publicly recommended AGAINST using. In several studies it led to failure to thrive in infants because it advocates such a strict feeding schedule. I would check with your pediatrician before using!
Here is a link that includes the AAP reprint:
http://www.ezzo.info/resources/timeline/81-timeline/107-babywise-advice-linked-to-dehydration-failure-to-thrive

A good nights sleep! What a luxury- Joy, you won’t bee sleeping for 8 hours for possibly a year! Even at 2 they wake up and want comfort or to hear your voice….. When we found our Nanny I was so worried all the time even though I knew she was wonderful! In retrospect I don’t think I could ever find anyone as loving again…. give it time and you’ll find the right person.

thanks jessica!
im def. learning the routine is the ground work to eventually getting us to more sleep! slowly but surely!
joy

Thanks Meg! Im on the Booby Brigade group and thats been super helpful so far!
Joy

Thanks so much Chandra! So good to hear!
Joy

Totally! Thanks Jessica!
Joy

I know this is an older post but I couldn’t help but put my two cents in :). As a mom of a 10 month old (I can hardly believe it!) my advice to you is don’t stress it! Create healthy habits and babies have a way of working it out on their own. By three months my daughter was sleeping 10 hours through the night with one dream feed until she was 6 months. She now sleeps 12 hours straight. We made a consistent routine to signal that it’s bed time and stick to it every single night. We have dinner, do bath time, feed her a bottle and then lay her in her crib awake but sleepy and she drifts to sleep on her own without a peep. The early months are frustrating and exhausting but trust me, sleep for all of you is closer than you think. Best of luck with everything!

Firstly, Ruby is soo cute!
My little man Xavier is 4 months today and he still wakes up for feeds every 3-5 hours. I was really exhausted as I haven’t had a decent nights sleep for so long so I went to see a doc who specialised in sleep. He helped us with some sort of routine and suggested we started solids (he was 9 weeks then). I know its a bit earlier than usual and he loves his solids, but he still doesn’t sleep any longer! My mothers group (10 out of 12 of the mums there have bubs who sleep 7 hours or more!Yes im jealous.) I guess I just have to accept my every baby is different. I am very happy when I get 4 hours straight sleep. Knowing when you baby is tired (tired cues) is important so that you put them to bed as soon as you see them getting tired (usually its within the hour for 2-4 month olds – yawns, jerky movements etc. For me it was best to put them down before they started getting too tired. Bub feeds then goes to bed at 7pm, then wakes around 10pm for a feed, then feed again around 2pm (lately we’ve managed to hold him out till 3:30-4am!) then 5-6pm, then 8:30-10pm he wakes again, and the day starts again! Oh and to begin with we did let him cry it out but not for more than 5 mins at a time. Now he goes to bed really well on his own – providing he isn’t overtired and cranky. Hope it helps! Your gut instincts will be the best 🙂
Oh we also use this wrap, its awesome cos bub gets to put his hands next to his face, just like in utero.
http://www.lovetodream.com.au/