In our final birth prep class before having our baby, the teacher showed a cheesy video from the 80's about making sure to nurture your relationship after the baby arrives and learning how to get "creative" with your partner. Like 5th graders, Bob and I busted out laughing in the middle of the dark classroom while the VHS video played for the group. We thought it was so silly at the time {because it seemed so obvious that spending quality time together was important}, but it really was a good lesson to tell…one we didn't totally understand until Ruby came into our lives.
When you have a baby, your life becomes consumed with this new tiny being that you are learning about and learning how to take care of. While it can be so easy to do, I've learned how important it is not to lose sight of the relationship that existed before the baby…the one between you and your partner. While a baby makes your family bigger, the family wouldn't exist without the love and respect you have for one another. So even when it seems like more work to go out instead of staying home, or we think about having to pay for a baby sitter on top of the cost of dinner—we make the time for it. Bob and I make it a habit to go out to dinner every one to two weeks. We do our best not to talk endlessly about how much we love our baby {which is hard}, but to have adult conversations about what's happening in our lives and things that we don't always get to talk about at home.
Regardless of whether you have kids or not, date nights are still so vital to keep things fresh, don't you think? Oh, and I love this idea from Joanna on how to switch up date night. Have a great weekend full of all the loves in your life… — Joy
{photo of Bob and I by Bonnie Tsang for The Americana}
Cute!
This is such wonderful advice! I too read the article by Joanna and found it insightful, fantastic and so true! Thanks for reminding me it’s the little moments you take out of the day or week to spend with each other that really count!
So true! It is definitely work to maintain that spark after the child is born (because you are both so exhausted, at least in our case, and there’s just so much to DO). Date night is important!
I’m 23 and single, but my parents are such a great example of this! Even after 29 years of marriage, they still have weekly date nights. In fact, that’s probably how they’ve lasted for 29 years! I think you’re starting a great tradition 🙂
This is such a sweet post and such a good note to make. My boyfriend and I are getting married this year and I am excited about us expanding into a family. Sometimes we barely have time for one another that I can’t imagine a little person too- but I know we’ll make it work. It’ll definitely be date nights like you mentioned above that will make it all work.
Wonderful post.
Mandy@ Little Maison
Very important point. I once read a very wise thing that a woman said on The Glow, “In order of importance: 1.Self, 2. Marriage, 3. Child. Of course all are as important as each other, but neglecting the one before is a disservice to the one after.”
Joy, I love your sandals! Where are they from??
Hi Liv,
They are actually from Aerosoles from many years ago!
Joy
TOTALLY agree, thanks for sharing 🙂
aw joy love your advice, you are right!
gandacummings.blogspot.com
That was a great idea from Joanna, too.
I think that there are a lot of great things to do to keep the excitement still there. Date night is always something to look forward to even if it is a night in together!
Great post!
What great advice! I completely agree with you on how important it is to take the time to be with your significant other. Whether it is a date outing or a date just hanging out in your room it’s all so important!
http://lindseyyoung.net
Very wise advice – and I agree with Liv too – those sandals are stunning!!
totally agree… i think a lot of divorce happens when kids are in the picture. i will definitely keep this in mind when i have my own family. 😀
thanks joy!
Where are bobs shoes from! I need to get those for my hubby!
Thanks Elle!
They are from Paul Smith from a couple years ago. Blue suede shoes 😉
Joy
Date nights are totally worth doing, and I don’t think my husband and I do it enough. Investing in our relationship with each other is definitely one of the best things we can be doing for the sake of our children…
Ronnie xo
Very nice advise. And congratulations!
Who made your brown sandals?
what a great post and adorable photo:) and thank you so much for the link love, what a fun surprise when i came to your blog! xoxo
Aw so sweet! That’s so true.
xoxo Maria
blog: http://blog.missesdressy.com
Shop: http://missesdressy.com
This is so true! My husband and I don’t have a baby, but we run a business together and we spend every day together. Sometimes it’s easy to get so caught up in our work schedule and the challenges of the business, we forget to make special time for just the two of us, sans shop talk. We try to get out at least once or twice a month for an extra-special date night to regroup and reconnect.
Your blog is great!!!!
http://www.thegavlaks.com
We haven’t had a ‘date’ in six months since our little guy was born we watch tv together after the baby’s asleep sometimes talk or have ice cream 🙂
Joy – I love your pants! Where did you get it?
Hi Abby,
Thanks! They are from J.Crew from a few years ago 😉
Best,
Joy
Joy –
This is such a great post! It IS so important to nurture the love between you both after baby. We have a 2.5 year old and it’s really been quite a ride as we went from just us to the 3 of us.
We were together over 5+ years before having our dear sweet Juliette but it was quite a shock how our relationship changed in so many ways. It took a lot of work to get back to some version of ourselves before and happily accept the version of ourselves we were in the present. People seem to forget this when baby comes, they think baby makes 3 and poof life is sleepless nights and blissful family time. But the reality is often slightly less lovely!
Happily we are more in love than ever now and working always to keep our relationship at the forefront with date nights as often as we are able to swing (often once every 4-6 weeks) and trying to be better about turning that TV off after baby goes down to spend some time together.
Thanks for posting this, glad to see you and Bob are focusing on YOU. Happy parents = happy baby.
A sweet thing to look forward to….. Juliette smiles when we kiss and says “more Mama, more Papa” melts our hearts!
Have a lovely night! Xx
Lindsay @ Darling Clementine
http://www.darlingclementineshop.com
p.s. ditto to all those who loved both of your style, gorgeous Xx
Oh my! I don’t know what I’d do without your posts! I constantly feel like your posts are directed at my life on a weekly; if not daily basis! Last month my husband and I celebrated our anniversary and we took our (then 4 month) son, Everett out to dinner with us. We just couldn’t leave him with a sitter yet! So, we’re sitting there talking…about Everett of course and he’s asleep in his car seat on the chair in between us when we both realized how differently things had become between us. Our love for each other was kind of lost in the shuffle of the love we share for our baby boy. We want our son to know how much we love him; which I think we have covered ;), but we also want him to see how much his mommy and daddy love each other. So, we’ve just made a point to be at least as half as affectionate with each other as we are to him…which would still be a lot considering how much we shower Everett with hugs and kisses. We also, brought back Champagne Thursday. This way we have at least one night a week to look forward to catching up on everything that happened all week and start planning our weekend. And at least once a month, we have to get a sitter and get OUT of the house…NO baby! 🙂
Such a lovely piece of advice, Joy! I read Joanna’s post about date nights too, and am making an effort with my hubby to keep the romance alive. We may not have a baby just yet, but it’s still important to us that we don’t slip into the “roommate” routine at home