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some days i can’t just post a pretty picture…

oh joy sky photo

oh joy sky photo

Sometimes it's hard to blog about cute things and pretty pictures when the real world going on around us isn't so perfect. No matter how hard we try, we can't always make real life look like that perfect social media life that we wish it was.

I really try to keep this space (and all of my social media outlets) positive and uplifting. When bad things, sad things, negative things happen in the world, it is not my gut instinct to publicly share my feelings about them. Maybe it's the conservative Asian part of me not to show pain outwardly…I internalize, I process, I think, I get upset…in private. So it took me a day or so to be able to even write anything about the world as of lately.

I don't know what it's like to be African American.

I don't know what it's like to be Caucasian.

I don't know what it's like to be gay or bisexual or transgender.

But I do know what it's like to have someone you love taken away from you unexpectedly. I know how it feels to be treated unfairly based on my skin color. I do know that pain is pain and lost lives are still lives no matter what color or gender or sexual preference. Whether it's in the hands of someone who was meant to protect us or someone who just felt like walking into a public space and taking lives that day, losing someone—whether you knew them or not, whether you loved them or not—hurts. 

It's okay not to know what to say or do. Because I myself am speechless. I don't know what the answer is to this past month, this past year, past decade, past hundreds of years of injustice, sadness, and loss.

I'll just leave you with this video below by that I came across by Brene Brown via Wit & Delight

Thanks for listening.


  1. I so agree: the world seems like such a mess just now, it’s hard to know what to do or say in the face of it. Hard not to sound irrelevant.
    I love this Brene Brown video (and might share it on my blog later this week actually). The world would be a better place, I think, if people would try to be a little kinder.

  2. Well worded public statements like the one you made in this post are always a wonderful addition to discourse. I hope you never feel pressured to publicly process grief. For many of us, grief about world and personal events is processed privately and I respect anyone’s right to publicly voice how they are processing such events, give an opinion or champion for change or to keep those thoughts and feelings private. So many times, people make statements that in the end just feel flimsy. This is not an example of that. Visiting your blog at the end of a long and hectic day, undoubtedly punctuated by the onslaught of information that makes us all fully aware that we live in a world where unfortunate events take place, brings joy to my life despite my struggle to process the imperfect world we live in. Thank you.

  3. I totally agree with what you noted here Joy. But I also think its days, weeks, months and years like these we are living in that need more positive, uplifting and joyful things around us to remind us that there IS beauty, innocence and love in this world. More power to the way you meaningfully create happiness around you! <3

  4. I agree with this so much and it was so beautiful to read. I planned on posting an outfit photo today and when I woke up and read more of the news I just couldn’t face blogging anything today. You are a truly lovely person Whiskey Jars Blog

  5. Thank you for this short by Brene. Well-said, no more needed except…I am here. I am listening.

  6. Beautifully said, thank you for your wise and powerful words. I struggled to try and understand how to feel at this moment in time, but this makes me feel things.

  7. This is how real change and real progress begin. People have to speak up. Silence is compliance and if no one outside of the community that is being victimized says anything then the monsters will continue to terrorize…unfortunately. Thank you for doing the work and being an ally. xo

  8. Thanks for posting this. I live in Dallas and it’s hard to just go about your normal day. It’s nice to read something like this as a reminder that it’s okay to pause. Nicely written.

  9. Beautiful said. Thank you Joy for being you. Your perspective is always so kind and honest and it truly is a wonderful way to look at life…good and bad.

  10. Thank you for sharing this. I frequent a few lifestyle web sites every morning, and i was really struck yesterday how it seemed “business” as usual – weekly outfits, dinner party ideas, smoothie recipes… and I just thought, huh, this feels odd, and well, not real. I thank you for keeping it real. I realize it’s not your job to be political or comment on current events, but you are human, and I think it’s important that folks know that even lifestyle/design bloggers are a part of this world too. It’s important. Thanks again.


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